I am currently a year 1 poly student and Malay,I don’t really have many friends of the same race and most of my friends are either Chinese or Indian. I feel more comfortable around them than my own race and I feel really bad because I feel racist towards my own race
It’s not like I haven’t tried being friends with people from my own race, I even joined clubs related to Malay culture to learn more about my culture but most of the time when I try to befriend the people in the club I joined they treat me like I don’t exist since they joined the clubs with their already established friend groups.
Making friends with people from other races is just easier for me, I feel like they get me. I don’t wanna stop making friends with people from my race but I don’t wanna feel like a reject anymore.
I don’t wanna be like this anymore. I feel like I am slowly drifting away from my roots
What you’re feeling isn’t racism toward your own race. You’ve just had better experiences connecting with people outside your race, that’s it. It doesn’t make you a bad person at all.
The club thing you shared honestly sounds really discouraging. You actually put in the effort, showed up, tried, and still got ignored. That’s rough, and it makes sense that it left you feeling like a reject. But that had nothing to do with you, those people just already had their own groups and weren’t really open to meeting new people.
Your culture isn’t going anywhere though. It’s in your family, the food you grew up eating, the language, the little things you don’t even think about. That stuff doesn’t disappear just because your closest friends are Chinese or Indian.
You haven’t drifted from your roots. In fact, it seems like you’re just someone who gets along with all kinds of people, and honestly that’s not something to feel bad about!
I would say, don’t force friendships out of guilt, it rarely works and you’ll just end up feeling worse. Keep being open, keep being yourself, and the right people will come. Including other Malays, when the setting is right and people are actually open to connecting
You’re being really hard on yourself over something that isn’t your fault. Treat yourself kindly and give yourself a break, okay?
