I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know why I decided to embarassed myself infront of people by annoying my sister and making her mad at me knowing she would. I usually would hate doing these things. But these days my brain been foggy. And all Im doing things is without thinking. Finding pleasure in things I never even liked doing. And after doing those things all I find myself hating myself. I used to be self consious but after one bad miserable day. I went emotionally numb and stop being myself. I was usually quiet but now Im loud. I changed so much that even I cant even handle myself. Whats wrong with me? Why am I like this?
Hey @ais,
It sounds like you have been becoming very aware of your own behaviour lately, especially around your sister. The part where you said you annoyed her even though you already knew it would upset her seems to be bothering you quite a bit afterwards.
You also mentioned feeling foggy, emotionally numb, and unlike yourself. Sometimes when people are under stress, overwhelmed, tired, or carrying fear internally for too long, their reactions and behaviour can start feeling unfamiliar. People may become more impulsive, louder, more reactive, or act without fully thinking first, then later feel guilt or confusion about it.
What stood out is that you are noticing these changes very clearly. That level of self-awareness usually means a part of you is still trying to understand and regain control of what is happening.
Just wondering, apart from that “bad miserable day,” did anything else change recently? Maybe something at home, school, friendships, pressure, sleep, or stress that started making you feel more uneasy or fearful inside?
Also, how have you been physically lately? Things like poor sleep, exhaustion, not eating properly, constant stress, or staying mentally tense for too long can sometimes affect emotions and behaviour more than people realise.
Sometimes people behave differently when they are emotionally overloaded or disconnected from themselves for awhile. It does not mean you are beyond understanding or help.
If things continue feeling difficult to manage, it may help to speak with someone you trust, a counsellor, or a supportive adult so you do not have to process this alone. And if things ever start feeling too overwhelming emotionally, Singapore’s National Mindline 1771 is also available for support