Dysfunctional Toxic Performative Family tree

I was admitted and discharged from IMH month ago. While being there, my family persuaded me to open up and talk to the doctors. When i did talk to the doctors, i told them the family themselves don’t even want to open up while i have opened up before previously to a social worker but he just brushed off my concerns. That was all i told the doctors and that i don’t need anymore help with my personal life. The doctors even told my family that I said those. During visiting hours when my family visited, they even had like mirco disagreement between themselves.

A week after being discharged, I noticed the family is literally just proving my point. The family is still arguing, nagging, complaining, BUT have they ask or talk to a doctor, counsellor or professional but their own problems, NO.

A month after my discharge, the family is all back to old self. Forcing me to do things. Arguments. Persuading me to do whatever they want me to do. Also the fact that in IMH, i feel physically & emotionally unsafe, back at home i feel physically safe but emotionally unsafe, and being in this country were many services has failed makes me feel physically & emotionally unsafe in sg.

So now, wth do i do? I don’t want to help fix them. I don’t need help on know to tolerate them. I have already told professionals that the problem and causes are the family. I don’t need any help with my personal life and I know how to ask for help if I need to.

For those also saying to do self-care, contact family service center, etc;

I’ve been constantly trying to self-care for years and do things that I love but the family is always constantly effecting me and dragging me back down. I’m stuck in this loop. I’ve even tried a family service center but they didn’t even want to accept to open a case. The problem isn’t with me but the family themselves.

1 Like

I know how that feels. It’s not a problem of not opening up. It’s more of a problem with their inaction, am I right?

I was ‘counselled’ by different family members about my life decisions whenever I was at a crossroad. Now, after experiencing different forms of “counselling” I realised that I was clear about my life. It’s just that they are trying to micromanage me.

I too have exhausted my ways of tackling these types of people at home. But sometimes some tips I use are from websites like Healthline and choosing therapy.

Ps. I personally love choosing therapy, cos they have printable checklists that can be used at different times.

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/controlling-parents/

Hope this helps!