I was recently admitted and discharged from IMH. While being there, my family persuaded me to open up and talk to the doctors. When i did talk to the doctors, i told them the family themselves don’t even want to open up while i have opened up before previously to a social worker but he just brushed off my concerns. That was all i told the doctors and that i don’t need anymore help with my personal life. The doctors even told my family that I said those. During visiting hours when my family visited, they even had like mirco disagreement between themselves..
A week after being discharged, I noticed the family is literally just proving my point. The family have been arguing, nagging, complaining, BUT have they ask or talk to a doctor, counsellor or professional but their own problems, NO.
So now, wth do i do? I don’t want to help fix them. I don’t need help on know to tolerate them. I have already told professionals that the problem and causes are the family. I don’t need any help with my personal life and I know how to ask for help if I need to.
Dear @user6082
Thank you for opening up very honestly on what you are going through. I sense you have been feeling unheard and invalidated previously when you tried to share about the chaos at home.
Your feelings of helplessness about the futility of family members addressing their issues is understandable, given how they continue to nag, complain and argue among each other even when the doctor told them your feedback.
I suggest you consider setting boundaries around your family members. Speaking to a counsellor would be useful to learn how to set these boundaries and enforce them gently, respectfully and firmly.
Focus on rebuilding your mental health and spend time on hobbies and sport/ exercise.
Practising mindfulness is another way to learn how to slow down and respond to stimuli in ways congruent to our values.
Please know you are not alone. If you need immediate support or sense you are caught in a negative spiral, please call the national mindline at 1771. It operates 24/7 and manned by caring counsellors who can help you process what you have been through. Sending you warmth and care!
hey @user6082, thanks for being so open about this… it sounds like you’ve been trying hard to communicate, but the ppl around you just don’t seem to take responsibility or even make an effort to work on their own issues. that must be so frustrating 
you’re right: it’s not your job to fix them. you’ve already been honest about what’s going on, and it’s completely fair to focus on protecting your own peace.
as @CaringBee mentioned, when things get tense, maybe you could try engaging in activities that you enjoy (eg. music, games, sports)? reaching out to friends or communities like this could also rlly help :>>
you’ve already done your part, and that’s enough. wishing you all the bestt 
You are asking what to do, but you dont need help? Hrmm…..a little contradicting.
The only thing i can think of that you can do, is actually to get help.
Feel free to go to your nearest family services centre and speak with a counsellor, perhaps they can help you to figure something up.
Having a social worker there to brush you off, dont mean others social service professional dont care. Sometimes its pure luck, its not easy to find a caring professional and you can have rapport with. Sometimes need to hunt for it before you can find someone that you can related to comfortably.
Sometimes getting help is not about fixing your family, but sometimes its pretty much to make a home feels like how a home should be.
Hi @user6082,
Thank you for sharing so openlly. It’s clear you’ve been feeling unheard and invalidated, especially when your efforts to raise concerns about the chaos at home were dismissed. It’s understandable to feel helpless when family members continue to argue and ignore feedback, even from professionals. Setting boundaries can be a powerful step toward protecting your mental health, and speaking with a counsellor may help you learn how to do this with clarity and compassion.
In the meantime, prioritise your wellbeing through hobbies, exercise, and mindfulness practices that help you reconnect with your values and inner calm. You’re not alone in this.
As @CaringBee mentioned, if things feel overwhelming or you’re caught in a negative spiral, please reach out to the national mindline at 1771. It’s available 24/7 and staffed by caring counsellors ready to support you. Sending warmth and strength your way! 
Here are some mindfulness resources for you to get started:
https://www.mindline.sg/youth/resource-group/health-and-wellness/resource-sub-group/self-care
Wow! I see myself in you. It’s like they are motivating you to get help, but they themselves are not willing to get it, am I right?
I can sense that you feel that your parents are making you seem like you are having problems when that’s not the case.
I can feel you. Because that was how I have been feeling ever since young. Like I had a serious problem in that I am an introvert, don’t like to talk to others, like to struggle by myself and most importantly, don’t know how to ask for help when needed. I had been struggling with this image that they stamped on me and made me believe. It took me 8 years to assure myself that I wasn’t any of the things that they had been saying about me.
I am an extrovert, I love talking to the right people, I know how to ask for help and most importantly I wasn’t the problem. Just because they don’t feel that I am not part of their tribe doesn’t mean that I’m weak. That required a lot of assurances and positive reinforcements. Most importantly, lots of self love.
In a module in poly, I learnt that self love isnt selfish, it’s your oxygen mask during a flight evacuation. Others may say it’s sacrificial to discount self care, but it’s your oxygen mask.
And as @CaringBee said do seek help from the hotline should things get worse.
Sending you lots of love and hugs 
1 Like
@CaringBee @pinkskies @Obi_Wan_Kenobi
I’ve been constantly trying to self-care for years and do things that I love but the family is always constantly effecting me and dragging me back down. I’ve even tried a family service center but they didn’t even want to accept to open a case.