father of my so potentially suicidal / how to approach the situation

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1

Greetings!
Apologies in advance for my flawed english, I am doing my best here,

Decided to make a post here to maybe find some advice on how to potentially handle a very complicated family situation/ or find information on which avenues could potentially be an option on finding help.

The situation is roughly as follows:
I myself am NOT from singapore (in fact, reaching out from germany, hence I lack insight in a great many ways)

My partner however is a ‘native’ and still lives with her family.
I have yet to meet her parents, so all the impressions I have are from a rather external perspective, but even then, without trying to judge here it seems rather obvious that the family has a lot of unresolved issues and the like going on in general.

Her dad, according to his own words does suffer from depression. And while I feel it is positive he actually seems to acknowledge that, as far as I know he is not undergoing treatment nor does the family receive any form of counseling.

(Which, in my opinion, they really should, but I also do understand that taking that step is not at all easy for many people.
I know that mental health issues and relationship issues are still heavily stigmatized in my surroundings, despite progress being made and I feel that might be even moreso a thing in many asian communities?)

In addition he also seems to suffer from chronic pain/health complication.

This is the general situation.

This morning it seems he snapped at my partner for pretty much no reason at all at least on a superficial level.
Which in itself is not the reason I reach out though.
It is the fact that he also expressed the wish to be dead.

Now I am not a psychiatrist/therapist, but I do have multiple years of experience working with streetkids and as such often am confronted with mental health issues and work a lot with mental health professionals.

Because of this and the aforementioned factors I am inclined to take this statement of his very seriously.
Obviously it is impossible for me to tell if there is any immediate danger of self harm, but I do think the overal situation needs to be addressed in some way.

I am however not at all sure on how to tacke this situation.
Barging in as an outsider I am worried it would do way more harm than good if I tried to approach the family, especially since I have yet to even meet her parents. (nor am I particularly well liked by her mum)

I also don’t think my partner herself can really handle the situation, she has her own issues she struggles with.

So that is the point I am at currently.

I do not expect to find the perfect solution here for this very delicate situation, but I am very grateful for any input, information or advice.

Thank you very much in advance!
Best regards
C. v. A.

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Dear @user6727

Thank you C.v.A for writing in. Please, no need to apologise at all about your writing. I think it is well written and clear. Well done!

I can sense your genuine concern about your partner’s dad. He has been in chronic physical pain, depressing and saying he wishes to be dead.

Your worries about your partner’s dad are fully understandable and I’m glad you wrote in to explore what could be done to help him as he has shown clear signs of depression and being suicidal.

I encourage your partner (who I believe is based in Singapore) to place a call to the national mindline (1771) urgently. This hotline is manned 24/7 by competent and caring counsellors. They will be able to guide your partner on appropriate actions to take to help her distressed father. The ideal situation would be for the family to gently influence your partner’s dad to speak to the counsellor directly. His mental health is a priority, he is surrounded by those who care and he can take steps to manage it better.

There is also a Singapore Silver Line by the Agency of Integrated Care (AIC) reachable at 1800 650 6060 for the family to consider. It provides eldercare information such as eldercare and caregiver support services in Singapore.

Your partner could also speak in confidence on her own issues once she is ready.

Furthermore, do suggest to your partner’s family to keep a close eye on her dad, especially on his whereabouts. Sudden changes to his diet, and activity levels and moods should also be taken note of and highlighted to the counsellor promptly.

I commend you for taking charge of this situation and for taking proactive and preventative actions so that the situation does not deteriorate. Do reach out here whenever needed.:yellow_heart:

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hrmm…..so is your father in Germany or in Singapore?

I was assuming in Germany there is better mental health support compare to Singapore.

sometimes physical pain can trigger mental heaith issues like depression.

Ideally if there is someone around that can act a motivation to get him out of the house more often.

Maybe link up with a local support group and ask someone can tag along. And bring him to the support group and join him in the session together for atleast a few sessions until he is ok to be on his own.

The best way to help someone with depression is to be annoying outgoing and cheerful around them. And the keyword to always remember is do everything together. Always end your conversation with together. So that dont feel like they are dealing with their mental health issues alone.