I am usually very quiet in school and CCA but I do have a few leadership roles. Today I just got left out by some of my fellow sec 4s. Basically, one of them, Ning, was in charge today, and there were only four sec 4s present today: Tara, Sathi and myself, Mafuna. I am friends with Tara. To train our juniors for drill competition, Ning called out the Sec 4s on purpose. But she didn’t call me. It felt so unfair. So I pointed that out to Tara when we were going home. She knew what Ning did.
I usually don’t open up about my problems in CCA but I want to speak up about this. I cannot stay silent forever. I cannot stand such treatment of being left out, being forgotten. Ning just happens to be the vice-captain and people know that. But many people forget that I am the other vice-captain. For a special school anniversary parade 2 years ago where minister Masagos actually was the guest of honour for, guess who didn’t get to participate? Me. NDP Parade for school last year, who couldn’t be part of the parade? Me. I felt I was being looked down upon. They think I’m part of that particular group which slacks and doesn’t get involved in CCA that much. They think I’m stupid. Everyone thinks I’m stupid.
It was basically more than 3 years of being forgotten, left out, and excluded. I’m already looking forward to stepping down from CCA so I can get out of secondary school soon and go poly.
CAN YOU IMAGINE!? MORE THAN 3 YEARS OF BEING NON-EXISTENT. MORE THAN 3 YEARS OF NOT BEING GIVEN A PROPER CHANCE.
And that’s that. Being a leader only became a title, not a responsibility. That’s what it was like.
How can I easily move on and ignore this problem? Or should I tell my CCA teacher about it? Any solutions?
(names mentioned are not real names)
Dear @mafuna345,
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling left out and unappreciated, especially when you’ve been giving so much of yourself in your leadership role. It sounds incredibly frustrating to feel like your contributions have been overlooked for so long. Three years of being marginalised despite being in a leadership position is not easy to carry, and I want to acknowledge how painful that must be for you.
You’ve shown so much strength in continuing to take on these responsibilities, even when it feels like no one notices or values your effort. It’s not easy to stay committed when it feels like you’re invisible, especially when you know you’re capable of more and have a lot to offer. I hear how deeply hurtful it must be to not be seen or heard by your peers and the people in charge.
I also hear that you’re starting to question whether you should speak up about this or just step away. It’s clear that this situation has taken a toll on you, and I completely understand why you’re considering stepping down. It might feel like the only way to regain some sense of control over your emotions and the situation. But I also wonder if you’ve had a chance to talk to someone about how much this has hurt you, whether it’s a CCA teacher, a peer, or anyone you trust. Sometimes, even just expressing what you’re feeling can be powerful in itself. You deserve to be heard.
At the same time, I want to remind you that your leadership is still valuable, even if others aren’t showing it. Just because others are overlooking you doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to lead. The respect and recognition you’ve been longing for might take time, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you’ve been doing your best, and that in itself is worth something.
If you’re ready, it might help to find small ways to express your feelings—whether that’s by talking to your teacher about how you feel or finding other ways to reclaim some of your dignity within your CCA. But please don’t rush. Your feelings matter, and you deserve the space to process them at your own pace.
Take care of yourself, Mafuna. You don’t have to figure it all out right away. Whatever you decide, know that you are valued, and we are here for you.
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thank you so much. your advice really helps me.