I’m a Year 1 uni student taking a degree that’s completely unrelated to my previous diploma. I feel lost when I come to class and sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing
I have made friends in uni but I don’t like to stay on campus and prefer to just go home instead of staying around because I want to hang out with my poly friends
None of my poly friends went to NTU and I feel alone and different from a lot of people.
My boyfriend of 2 years is in NS and I miss him, we both pivoted to a more “safe” degree for each other and some days I feel like I need him around to know my purpose
Evryone in uni is all about doing as many ccas and volunteering work as they can and I just don’t resonate. I just want to study and have my free time. Am I wrong for wanting to do that? Sometimes I feel like I’m not making use of my time but going home and spending time with my friends and family is what I care more about
Thank you for writing in to share and being open about your experience navigating university life!
What you are going through sounds tough, I sense that university has been shaping up to be isolating for you, not just with your peers but within yourself.
There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to spend time in the way that makes the most sense to you, in fact, that is healthy - to act according to your values! Though, following through with what you value (time with friends and family) at the moment seems to be creating some kind of conflict within yourself. Hearing your sharing, it could be worthwhile exploring if this conflict arose because of external factors (i.e. what others are saying you should do) or internal ones (I noticed that you mentioned you have chosen a “safe” degree that had deviated from your diploma, and I wonder if this is something you have a genuine interest in).
Let’s unpack this step-by-step by first inquiring within yourself where this sense of dissonance is coming from, and in the meantime, be gentler with yourself! As a uni year 1 starting afresh without familiar faces and your significant other being away, it is difficult and it is normal to feel disoriented; give yourself the space to find your footing
Rooting for you, and you’re always welcome to keep talking to us here
Thank you for sharing the struggles you’re facing in university. I hear that you’ve been feeling lost in class, and that you feel conflicted about whether what you’re doing is right, like whether to doing volunteering or CCAs. It certainly sounds difficult when faced with this uncertainty, especially if it seems that you’re alone.
I feel that doing what you resonate with is important. If you rather spend your time with people close to you, that’s perfectly fine. There’s no need to follow what others are doing. Everyone’s running their own race, and it’s alright to go at your own pace. For your degree, if you feel lost, maybe you could try arranging a consult with your professor for the materials in class that you don’t understand.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to navigate this new phase of life. After a while, I think you’ll be able to find your rhythm. Wishing you all the best and we’ll be here if you need someone to talk to
