Forgive me father, for you are unbearable

Hangouts Rants
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Dear father,

What happened to you?
Once my role-model, my hero, my steady support in my very own corner.

Now you come home an empty hole, just a shell of a man, a shadow of what you once were.
Enabled by you to be bullied by your very own selfish son.
Defended your honour through lecturing an ungrateful child.
Only to turn back around and spit at the face of a caring son.

We share the same roof and door, but same room. Needed by all, but accepted by none.

I wish to love you for who you are, but your lack of soul had left me a hole that I can’t seems to fill.

In this house I don’t call home, I tried to stay as my sanity runs insain, now it’s high time I bide you farewell.

Broke and broken for the love I won’t receive.

Forgive me my father, for I just can’t, can’t stay and stand under your spits of sick.
Forgive me my father, for I am, just an ungrateful son.

I wish you well, I wish you joy, both of which sadly you wont seek.
Thank you for the roof you gave, tainted by your careless words, they leak worse than rain.

Off I go on my own, to seek refuge for my broken soul. Dare I say, I hope to find, a father figure within me for my fragile inner child. So I dream, if I may, to learn to be a lover and a father that you lack.

Good bye,
Son.

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Wow… this is so profound and deeply written :face_holding_back_tears: Thank you for sharing something so raw and honest. It really reads like poetry — painful, but powerful. I can feel the weight of everything you’ve been carrying, and the strength it takes to put it into words like that.

I think a lot of people, especially in Asian cultures, grow up with this strong sense of filial piety — like we’re supposed to endure no matter what. But sometimes, when the environment no longer serves us or starts to break us down, it’s okay to walk away. Not out of hate, but out of self-preservation. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to wish them well from afar and go find our own version of family — one that feels safe, healing, and whole.

Wishing you peace and clarity as you move forward. You deserve to feel loved and free. :yellow_heart:

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Thank you for the kind words.

Walking away from a parent is no light matter. Is this the right choice for me? I don’t know. And I’m sure that I would one day look back and wonder if there’s anything that I could’ve differently.

What I know today is that I owe it to myself to put myself in a better environment and not allow myself to be dragged into this continuous endless loop of disappointment.

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That really sounds like a brave and thoughtful decision. You’ve clearly weighed the pros and cons, and even though you know your feelings might change in the future, you’ve chosen what feels right for you right now—and that takes real courage.

And if one day you decide to return, that door will still be open.

You’re absolutely right to prioritize your well-being and step away from a draining situation—it’s empowering to choose a space where you can truly thrive, instead of staying stuck in a pattern that only brings frustration. I’m rooting for you!!!

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hi @user2209 ,

I respect your decision, surely it was not easy. But if you feel that is the right thing to do after careful considerations, then i fully support your choice!

We can’t choose who our parents are, but we sure can create a better environment for ourselves. I hope you are in a new and better environment now. And know that we are always here to support you! :slight_smile:

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This is so beautifully written and I can truly feel the weight of the emotions you have expressed in this poem. A quote (that is often misquoted!) which I love is, “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. You can always choose your own family and surround yourself with those who truly love you, even if it isn’t your biological one. While it is normal to second guess yourself when walking away from toxic family, I hope you know that you are so strong for all that you have been through and you deserve this. You deserve to break free from this and break the cycle. I wish you all the very best and I am deeply moved and inspired by your story! I hope to do the same myself, one day :slightly_smiling_face:

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