2 months ago I did something I regretted. I have now come to the realization that nothing could be done to prevent consequences from happening. My mind keeps persistently holding on to it, even if I feel like the obsession has subsided, it’s still lingering in the background. I need a way to forget about this because it will not benefit me if I keep thinking about it
Hi @user7467 thanks for reaching out! I think I had engaged with you previously about this? It seems like these thoughts have still been weighing on you since the last time we chat, and I’m sorry that you’re going through this.
It sounds like you have come to accept that nothing can be done to prevent the consequences, and in a way, all that’s left to do is kind of, well, do nothing about it – since nothing can be done anyway. That’s actually such a big realisation, and I’m also taking a moment to celebrate how far you’ve come.
I recall that before, it sounded like the thoughts were really at the front, but now it’s lingering but in the background. Even though it still bothers you, I want to point out how you helped yourself get to this point! By reaching out and reflecting and accepting certain things, that’s not easy.
I’m wondering, if you ask that side of you that keeps holding on to the worries or obsession, why is that side of you holding on? And how does that side of you make you feel?
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yes you did engage with me with this in the past before and I just want to say it really helped 
Dear @user7467
Thank you for sharing with us your struggles. When you shared about regretting something that was done, I think so many among us can identify with how you are feeling. Please know regret is a familiar feeling among many of us, so you are not alone.
You shared that you are noticing that the obsession has reduced over time. I see that’s a good development as the sting of what you regret has become less.
I have observed that our body does have the ability to self-heal, and your sharing suggests that over time the mind processed the event which happened and has sorted it out.
However certain aspects of the event are still lingering on as they have not been processed completely.
The past shows up in the present with the accompanying shame and other related emotions when there is a trigger in the present.
When the disruptive thoughts arise, I encourage you to recognise that these thoughts are just thoughts. Write them down. Instead of accepting them as the truth, question the thought, is what the mind telling you the full story? Next, choose an alternative thought that is more balanced, compassionate and accurate. Mindfully notice the original thought and practise to actively replace with the more balanced thought.
I also recommend that you speak with a counsellor soon to process the incident in a safe non judgmental space.
Please also practise self compassion and forgive yourself for what has happened.
We are here to support you so reach out whenever needed. 
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Hi @user7467,
Thank you for opening up about your struggles. Regret is a deeply human emotion, and many of us can relate to the pain it brings. It’s encouraging to hear that the intensity of your obsession has lessened over time - this suggests that your mind has begun to process and heal from the experience. Our bodies and minds have a remarkable capacity for self-healing, and your journey reflects that. Still, it’s natural for certain aspects of the past to linger, especially when present-day triggers stir up unresolved emotions like shame or guilt.
When disruptive thoughts arise, try to gently observe them without judgment. Write them down, question their accuracy, and ask yourself whether your mind is telling the full story. Then, intentionally choose a more balanced and compassionate perspective to replace the original thought. This practice can help shift your inner narrative over time. I also encourage you to speak with a counsellor who can offer a safe, non-judgmental space to explore and process these feelings. Above all, be kind to yourself. Self-compassion and forgiveness are powerful tools in healing. We’re here for you, so please reach out whenever you need support.
If you are keen to look for professional resources, you may refer to mindline’s First Stop for Mental Health (mindline.sg | First Stop for Mental Health Support in Singapore ). It includes:
- Helpline services (1711)
- In-person services (such as the Community Outreach Team)
- Medical services for mental health (CHAS GP clinics and polyclinics)
Hope this helps! 
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Hi @user7467 I’m glad to hear! This space is here for you
How have things been? Did you manage to think about the side that’s kind of holding on to the worries or obsession a little bit more? It’s okay if you haven’t, but if you have and would like to explore that a bit more this space is here
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Yeah I did, I also observe that whenever I am happy, this side of me wouldn’t allow me to be happy because I am reminded again of this worry/ trepidation
do you think it’ll ever go away if its always like this?
my fear has been exacerbated last night because I found out something that might make the fear more likely to be true… I’ll never escape this fear
Hi @user7467,
Are you able to share with us more about what you are feeling fearful of?
I can only do it privately because it’s something I’m afraid will be leaked 
Hi @user7467,
Let’s Talk is a fully anonymous platform, so rest assured that what you share won’t be leaked anywhere. Your thoughts are safe with us!
Im really sorry, im not comfortable sharing it publicly where anyone could read, we can talk about this privately im so sorry again
Hi @user7467,
Sure - if you wish to speak privately, you may do so by contacting National Mindline via WhatsApp at +65 6669 1771, where a counsellor can attend to you in private. Thank you!
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