I dont feel so well

[cozybasil3130]

(I’m sorry if this feels to much like a rant) It’s happening again. I can feel it. A sense of unforgiving sadness. I swear i thought i was getting better.

i tend to get an overwhelming amount of sadness throughout the day whenever i think. I could be thinking of current chores, hobbies, etc, and a sense of sadness will always overwhelm me. I can never complete any of my activities and i feel so exhausted, exhausted to be trapped in my thoughts, exhausted be so lazy. I don’t understand why this is happening again.

I don’t feel the need to talk with my friends, i would see the messages and don’t reply. (sorry im such a bad friend) i can never pull myself to go and reply to their messages, to give any response to them. I can’t feel the connection i had anymore with them. I don’t feel close to them anymore and i can feel them drifting from me. Am I selfish to want them to stay with me even though I don’t even do any actions to make them stay. I don’t do anything worthy enough for them to choose me, i know this so why do i still feel the need for them to atleast try once more. Am i being annoying to them?

There are days where I repeatedly can’t take it anymore and shut down. I feel like i’m not in my own body anymore, it feels as if i am viewing everything i do from a second perspective, i don’t feel anything, i cant hear or see anything clearly. Is this because I don’t want to experience anything anymore? Is this a self defense mechanism?

Because of this, I can’t keep up with my studies anymore, I cant communicate with others in school, I cant seek out for help, for someone to talk with. I can’t really see a future for myself in this world. I don’t see myself living past a certain age as if that’s my fate.

This sadness can last for hours, where i feel an aching in my chest and my breathing quickening. I tried doing calming methods and other things but it never seems to work. I hope someone can give some advice to what I can do

[FuYuan_Affections]

Hey @cozybasil3130,

Hope that you are resting well. It sounds like for a while, you genuinely thought things were improving, so having the sadness return again can feel discouraging and tiring.

The sadness you described also sounds very draining. When someone spends a lot of time stuck in overwhelming thoughts and emotions, even simple things like chores, hobbies, replying messages, or studying can start feeling heavy. From the outside it may look like “laziness,” but emotional exhaustion can affect energy, concentration, and motivation quite strongly.

I also noticed how you have been pulling away from your friends. Sometimes when people are carrying a lot internally, keeping quiet or withdrawing can feel easier than trying to explain what is happening. At the same time, there also seems to be fear of losing the people around you.

The part where you said: “I still feel the need for them to atleast try once more” did not come across as selfish. It sounded more like you still want connection and support, but may be struggling to feel worthy of receiving it right now.

The moments where you feel disconnected from your body or surroundings can sometimes happen when someone has been emotionally overwhelmed for a long period of time. Some people experience this as a form of emotional shutdown or dissociation, where the mind tries to reduce how much stress or emotional pain is being felt all at once.

I also noticed how difficult it has become to picture the future. When hope becomes lower, people often lose the drive to do things as well. That does not mean you do not care. It can happen when someone has been emotionally tired for too long.

What I want to point out is that your post sounds like someone who has already been trying to cope for quite some time. You mentioned trying calming methods, trying to understand what is happening, and reaching out here for advice. That tells me a part of you still wants support and wants things to improve.

At the same time, because this has started affecting your studies, relationships, emotions, breathing, and sense of connection to yourself, I do think it would help to reach out to a counsellor, psychologist, or doctor. You do not need to justify whether your struggles are “serious enough” before asking for help.

If it feels hard to explain things, you can even say something simple like:
“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by sadness for a while. I’m withdrawing from people, struggling with school, and sometimes I feel disconnected from myself and my surroundings. I think I need support.”

You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out. I also get the sense that part of the difficulty may be worrying that you are becoming a burden to others. But there are people and services meant to support individuals through periods like this.

If you need support, you can contact: National Mindline: 1771

For now, try not to judge yourself only by how productive or responsive you are. Right now it sounds more like you have been emotionally overwhelmed for a long time, and that can affect both the mind and body quite a lot.