everyone around me keeps calling me fat when im perfectly normal. im 16 years old, 160cm tall and 53kg. because i come from a country in asia, a lot of the girls around me are very petite and skinny, and my mom also often mentions how i should be slimmer, and how i eat too much. sometimes i wish that i could eat less, or just not eat at all, even though i know it isn’t healthy. but i can’t help but think that if i was skinnier, then i would be prettier. and it doesn’t make it better that both of my older siblings are underweight, so i’m getting constantly compared to them. even though i know feeling like this isn’t good, i can’t help it since even my grandmother constantly makes fun of my appearance, and even called me a pig once. i don’t know what to do
Hi there meaningfulsage2201, thank you for reaching out today!
Firstly, you are right, you are perfectly normal and healthy! Being 160cm and weighing 53kg puts you clearly in the healthy range. What you are going through, and experiencing is really unfair, being criticized and compared to others by your mom. It gets really difficult when the societal norm is to be underweight but associate it with being healthy.
The thought of wanting to eat less or not eat at all is something I want to gently flag, not to alarm you, but because those kinds of thoughts, when they come from a place of wanting to be accepted and loved, can quietly grow into something that really hurts your health. You already know it isn’t healthy, which shows good self-awareness. But it’s worth keeping an eye on whether those thoughts are getting louder or starting to affect how you actually eat. Being 16 right now also means you are still growing and that requires lots of energy which you are getting from eating.
From what I am sensing here, the deeper thing here isn’t really about your weight at all. It’s about feeling like you’re not enough, and that the people closest to you are reinforcing that. You know you are right and healthy while others are chasing something that is unrealistic and unhealthy. Is there anyone in your life, a friend, a teacher, a counsellor, someone who sees you for who you are rather than what you look like? You deserve to have at least one person in your corner.
I just want to gently push across to you again that you are perfectly healthy with your weight being in the healthy range, and that you don’t need external validation about your weight or how you look. I know it is easier said than done but I just want you to let you know that. But I am still glad that you reach out today to share something so personal, that takes strength and courage. If you ever need a listening ear, feel free to reach out to Mindline 1771 or WhatsApp at 6669-1771.