today I did something I should never have done. I always fxxk up my life is fxxked up today I posted smth abt a classmate I had that was uncooperative n insensitive n treated me with so much disdain and disgust like I genuinely did not feel so much like a piece of sxxt before before she started treating me like one from maybe 6 months ago it was on my status she wasn’t supposed to see it I blocked her via status privacy then some stupid lowly rat showed it to her goddamn idk who it is but I will find out and personally oenviengirgbrw that person anyways now shes questioning me like I deserve a death sentence and spreading it everywhere. I should never have done it. I feel so lonely and so done everything is so heavy infact I used to admire how she could interact with people so easily, how they accepted her she also misunderstood me she wouldn’t know how it feels to be alone she keeps saying its my fault. I don’t deny it it is. but now its gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. I should never have done it. I said sorry but its already too late. everythings too late now everyone knows. I’m so fxxking tired I cant stop crying nearly every day and idk what to do.
Hello @flexiblelake7352.
That sounds genuinely exhausting and painfu. The kind of situation where everything feels like it’s collapsing at once, and the worst part is that one impulsive moment has now taken on a life of its own beyond your control.
What you’re describing - the loneliness, feeling like a piece of sxxt, crying nearly every day..that’s a lot to be carrying, and it sounds like it’s been building for a while, not just today.
Just wondering, is there anything that can assist you in your current situation?
I should never have done it.
Hey there, I hear you. I’m sorry that you felt hurt by your classmate which led to your initial action of blocking her. Are you able to speak with her to apologise, and also to explain the emotional hurt you felt and are feeling now from her actions? As humans, we are definitely flawed beings but we are also capable of growth and change. I hope you will be able to be kinder to yourself and see that you are doing the best you can! I am rooting for you.
Hmm.. but what do you think is something you could do now or what would help you?
im sorry asking me about what I could do is making me feel worse it’s just stressful
I hear you. That regret is sitting really heavy right now. Have you thought of reaching out to a mental health professional for additional support? There are various platforms for you to reach out to such as your school counsellor, SOS at 1767 if you have suicidal ideations or even national mindline at 1771.