Ive never felt like ive ever won. i never feel happy at all. Even if i do it’s incredibly short lived. I try so hard to matter and do good in exams but i just keep disappointing my parents. I like this girl and she doesn’t even care abt me. I thought we were close but after seeing how she acts with my friends it made me feel invisible. i overthink like crazy. she was not just a crush. she was someone who was very important to me. i dont feel like anyone understands me. im in constant physical and mental pain. theres so much more i just dont know how to explain it
Dear @centeredvanilla6046
Thank you for reaching out.
Reading your post I can sense that you put in a lot of honest effort in your endeavours especially school exams. Understandably you feel demotivated when your parents seem disappointed with your results.
Firstly, be compassionate to yourself. You tried hard, which is already very laudable. If possible do consult your teachers to find out areas you can work on. Adopt a growth mindset, remember that you are constantly improving.
I also read your mind is churning out thoughts such as ‘I am invisible’. It is very common and many of us can relate to this. I encourage you to be mindful of your thoughts and recognise that thoughts are just thoughts; many are not facts or true. For example, fusing with thoughts such as you are invisible is hurtful. Instead, practise to let thoughts be in the background like radio chatter, pay attentions to the present and choose present actions that are guided by your values.
It would be good to speak to school counsellors on what you are feeling especially relationship challenges, the pain you are in and your overall wellbeing. They are experienced and non judgmental and can be a good source of support as you navigate this period.
Alternatively explore mindline resources using the service wayfinding feature or call/text national mindline counsellors at 1771. These services are available round the clock for immediate support.
You are not alone in this journey so do seek much deserved help soon. 