Is it normal to feel like I shouldn’t be happy?

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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I’ve been through a tough time lately, I overthink about how people think of me and always stress myself out to make sure I am good enough for everyone. It’s been like this for years to the point where I started to cut myself and cry myself to sleep. I cry for no reason, maybe there is a reason but maybe I just don’t know? Sometimes I woke up from a nap, cried so hard and cut myself. Despite all this, I still hangout with my friends, laugh and joke around. But there are times when I feel like I shouldn’t be laughing, or feeling happy in general for some reason I just feel like I should be sad. I am not even sure if what I am feeling is real, as in am I trying to seek attention from people around me?

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Hi there @breezyolive379

Thank you for taking your time to write in to Let’s Talk!

I can see that you are carrying a lot of heavy feelings for some time now. It must have taken a lot of courage from you to share these with let’s talk. Firstly, I do not think you are seeking attention. The pain you are going through is real and valid. I see someone who had been struggling for many years yet still showing up for everyone around them while finding ways to cope with it. It is not a small thing to carry, especially cutting, crying and feeling like you do not deserve to be happy. Secondly, you have been in pain for long enough, so it makes sense that you stop recognizing it as something that can change. But with the right support, things can change and feel better. Healing is definitely possible :slight_smile: In addition to that, cutting yourself may be a way of getting through difficult moments, but it is usually a sign that the pain might have gotten bigger. It may suggest that you deserve more support than you are getting.

Is there anyone in your life who is aware of what’s been going on and what you’re going through? Please know that you do not have to go through this alone, okay?

I can leave some resources here for you to consider should you want to speak to someone:

  1. You can reach out to National Mindline by calling 1771 or WhatsApp them at 6669-1771. They have trained counsellors round the clock to support you
  2. You can reach out to Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1767 via call or WhatsApp at 9151 1767 they are available 24/7 and have counsellors who are trained in crisis related concerns