My parents have problems and they argue everyday, it’s clearly not healthy nor what is expected to happen at home especially for prolonged periods of time. They would have an argument over the smallest of things such as picking up my brother from school and buying food. My father is the kind to argue just to repeat his point over and over without bothering to listen to the other party which could be me or my mom. If it’s my mom she would drag the topic to something else irrelevant and they would argue even more and usually they don’t stop until my mom isolates herself from him and this is like a bad coping mechanism which is basically just running away from the problem and leaving the problem unsolved then the next day my dad would just act like nothing has happened while my mom is very much still affected.
I tried helping them by trying to sit them down and have a civil conversation but that is very much not working. Our said conversations would go on for hours which is very draining because they have so many problems and they will just keep bringing them up and neither would step down and admit that they were at fault. And like if I told them to forget they would just be like cannot forget everything reminds them of their problems.
Often their arguments will escalate so much that my dad will threaten stuff and telling my mom to leave and all. All these in front of my brother who is just 8 this year. It’s obvious the arguments at home are affecting him greatly, he has shown temper issues in school, getting in fights and arguments which are just fuel to more arguments at home, even if you tell them to stop arguing they quite literally never stop. My dad doesn’t realise he’s mentally hurting everyone and even sometimes physically when he’s mad but I don’t know what to classify these as? I am currently in the o level year but I am lucky enough to not need to take it but even so with their constant arguments I feel part of my life is embedded in this mess that I can’t untangle myself from, every time after school there’s no motivation to get home and rest ykwim. It’s like I’m gearing up myself for war in my own house, more often than not I’m also driven to the edge and have suicidal thoughts but of course I never went through because I do treasure my life but increasingly, I have felt there’s no need to live anymore if this is what living felt like. It’s such a big burden and I can’t focus in school or at home, it’s probably just coincidental that whenever I’m going to study they would start an argument. I try to tune out their arguments but part of me always doesn’t because I’m scared that it would escalate and people would be hurt and I usually would need to step in and make sure that that doesn’t actually happen. So when it has calmed down a bit, I think too much on what just happened and waste my time away. Which is bad but I don’t know how to cope anymore. Any advice on what I can do? Neither of my parents would go for counselling or therapy so those are off the table and I’m exhausted trying to solve their problems. Is this normal??