for the past semester (three months), i’ve been feeling super disinterested in my 2 modules. i’m usually into my modules and manage to find ways to be excited about class, but this semester was different. i just started my psych degree in january after about 8 months after finishing my diploma, but still, i have no clue why i feel so tired. my classes are only on thursday and friday and i have nothing else taking up my time the rest of the week. every day feels so long and sooo much has happened in my personal life (immediate family member’s passing, feeling unheard despite pouring out years of strong emotions away to someone important) but at the same time, it’s all going by so quickly. i still get my days mixed up (and have been since april when family member passed at night and we had the funeral service the next morning). my main issue currently is that i feel burnt out. i’ve felt this way before back in the end of sec 3 and the entireity of sec 4, but it’s so different this time, like it’s much worse. this time, not only do i feel tired and empty and like i want to go back home despite being inside my own home, but i also started looking at intense workouts, like the ones kpop trainees go through. working out isn’t my thing. i don’t do it regularly, and i’ve never been too eager to change how my body looks either. i feel like i’m trying to punish myself for being so lousy at my studies, but whenever i look up intense workout plans or google my bmi, i get so focused, and that upsets me. a few days before i felt all this, i found out i failed my final assignments i worked so hard on and only could hope my exams would push me to at least a 50% pass for the modules. i’ve thought about considering leaving my degree, but i know it isn’t cheap, especially since i go to a private uni. that and the cost of remoduling, and the utter shame and guilt i’d feel if/when i break the news to my parent. even if i don’t leave, how do i continue living normally with the knowledge that i don’t enjoy something that is paid for me with hard-earned money? currently, i’m free from exams and i thought that would mean my mental would be better too, but i’m still feeling absolutely horrible, confused, and upset at myself. i think like it’s quite ironic to feel this way since i study psych, but apologies if this is too much and all over the place, but i’ve been feeling this way for so long, and i hope my question(s) can be answered, even if they’re not too detailed or exact. thank you.
Hi @fairstrawberry2721,
What you’ve been carrying this semester is genuinely a lot. A family member passing, feeling unheard by someone important to you, failing modules you worked hard on and questioning a degree that costs a bit, of them together, in three months, is a lot for anyone to absorb.
The thing about the intense workouts and BMI checking stands out to me though. You described it yourself as feeling like self-punishment and the fact that it gives you a sense of focus when everything else feels out of control is worth paying attention to. That pattern of using physical pain or restriction to cope with feeling lousy can escalate and deserves some attention before it becomes harder to step back from.
The burnout you’re describing also sounds like it goes deeper than just being tired from studying. It sounds like it could be more like grief and emotional exhaustion that hasn’t had space to be processed, rather than just academic fatigue.
For a start, would you want to try reaching out to your school counselling service for support?