i know.. its not common to fail probation unless you’ve made really grave mistakes or really bad performance. i will start off by admitting i know it was a me problem and i don’t blame the company. i just wanna know if anyone else had been in a similar place, and what to tell future companies.
going straight to the point first, my issue is with punctuality/attendance. i’ve been late a few, can’t reveal too much but for context will keep it vague - between 5-10 times. some days just a few seconds, some 10-20mins. im not sure how long people usually travel for work, for me its a bit over an hour and on weekends will be more. ofc im not saying this justifies because i do know of others who live even further but don’t have a problem with it. to add on, my workplace takes punctuality very seriously so this is really bad to them. i also took sick leave, again to keep it vague - 1-3 times.
maybe to defend myself a little, i will say that i struggled with this more than usual because of a number of reasons. mainly, i had been feeling quite dejected regarding my work which made me really sian and hence struggle to get up in the morning. i dont look forward to my day at all. most days, i cant bring myself to get up and just lay there for a few minutes trying to convince myself that i need to do this. reason being, i could feel that some people at work might have a bit of negative sentiments towards me. i feel that i struggle to fit in and dont look forward to going at all. at work and home, i find myself constantly stressing and worrying that i am not doing well enough, im learning too slow, replaying certain interactions and overthinking body languages wondering what they are thinking of me. im constantly on alert analysing everything from tone to even music to try and tell their mood. never brought this up to the manager but i dont plan to as i dont know if its really toxic or i am just weak in mindset. theres also a lot of other factors that come to play but ive already talked about it in another separate post.
so far im not sure if theres any issue regarding the quality of my work. its rather subjective for each person. havent gotten positive feedback, but some seem okay and some seem to think I’m not trying hard enough.
the place i work at is a rather reputable/well known place, and so now i’m really stressed and worried as well on whether to 1. include in my resume 2. what to tell future hr during interviews? reason being, experience from this place is still good, but if i do include, i dont know what to tell hr regarding the reason for leaving. im currently still looking for jobs, so i dont know whether to give notice early and risk being jobless but at least it can be seen as my decision instead of theirs, or wait it out for them to tell me their decision which i suspect i already know? 3. how do you deal with everyone else in the team knowing about the situation?