when I was secondary 1. I tend to punish myself whenever I make my parents angry. I won’t eat within 1 week but yes i do drink water. I get tiring easily and dizziness. I was skinny back than. I remember that day when I help my mom cooking. I was in the middle of cutting vegetables than I felt very dizziness but I ignore it. I continue cutting vegetables using knife i push myself to limit my mom called my names a lot of times she’s even shout I couldn’t hear honestly I could only hear a ring sound and than I faint. It’s wasn’t hurt when I fall on the ground. It’s feel cold and my version i saw was black and white blinking a lot. It’s feel like i was floating. My parents didn’t call hospital. My dad grab a water he gently wash my face over and over. Than when I wake up. They told me that I was shaking violently and my eyes was open when I fainted. I was wondering what was it make me faint this way and shaking violently. If it was anemia can’t be this bad. I have that kind of bad habits..if I make someone angry or somethings upset me I always tend to staving myself not because of i want attention or what…I just not sure why i acting that way maybe trauma body respond that way?. I don’t tell anyone that I’ve been staving myself 1 week or 2 week. I keep it to myself. I still have this bad habit.
Hello @Isha
Thank you for taking your time to write in to Let’s talk!
Firstly, I would like to acknowledge what you had to went through the other day in the kitchen. You were pushing yourself past its limit, and what happened was your body sending out a distressing signal. I can imagine how terrifying that was for you.
It must have been heavy for you especially as a secondary 1 student back then. You shared that you are not too sure what made you act this way. It is good that you are raising this question up. Withdrawing food from yourself as a response to guilt or conflict is often the mind’s away of trying to gain back control when you feel overwhelmed or unsafe. It is more of a coping pattern that made some kind of sense at some point even if it is hurting you.
Since you have been starving yourself the past 1-2 weeks, I 'd encourage you not to brush past that. I can leave some resources here so it opens a door to having someone walk alongside you. Please know that you do not have to go through this alone okay?
- If you feel that it is too much to reach out to someone face to face , you can actually reach out to National mindline 1771 either through calling them at 1771 or WhatsApp at +65 6669 1771. They have trained counsellors who can offer free support through counselling, answering mental health queries, and providing wayfinding assistance and referrals to suitable support services if needed
- Given that you have been starving yourself the past 1-2 weeks, i’d highly encourage you to see a doctor as soon as possible