Spiralling out of control with new worries over the same thing

[user7467]

I have the urge to constantly find things out and avert them

My mind keeps telling me to find things to investigate and I then keep fixtating on that thing it tells me to investigate, if I don’t I would have to live with the uncertainty and it’s affecting me because my anxiety keeps bothering me about it and telling me that I have to prevent it before anything happens, I can’t forget it, are there any methods to ignore it?

The reason why I keep “investigating” is because one time i was actually right about one of these worries after investigating and was able to avert (?) said thing from happening. I can not stop ever since.

To add, it’s been affecting my day to day life a lot. I couldn’t eat, I keep retching and I wake up absolutely distressed when I thought I felt better the night before. I just can’t live with the uncertainty.

Every day I latch on to a new possibility to worry about, and it’s been impacting everything I do. What should I do to overcome this?

All of this is over the same thing by the way, I’m somehow not worried about anything else

[FuYuan_Affections]

Hey @user7467,

Reading your post felt like you were caught in hyper-vigilance, mind scanning for danger and body unable to rest. It’s exhausting, the retching, the loss of appetite, waking up distressed. It really shows how your whole system is on alert.

You mentioned that one time you were “actually right,” and that seems to have changed everything. As if your brain learned, if I keep checking, I can stop bad things. That moment probably felt powerful, even protective. But I’m curious, what about all the other times the worry didn’t turn out true? How did you cope then?

Sometimes patterns like this begin after multiple hurts or failures, moments where something important slipped past you and left you feeling you should have seen it coming. If it fits, maybe think back, when was the first time you remember this kind of urge to investigate showing up? What was happening around you then?

It sounds like part of you is trying to avert disaster before it even begins, but another part is paying the cost, no rest, no peace. Instead of trying to “ignore” the thought, what about holding back the urge on investigating? Where do you feel the fear? Your chest, stomach, throat? Ask yourself these questions. When thoughts are egging you to investigate, ask yourself what are the thoughts saying? Is it true that there is evidence to suggest that it will happen? What other options do I have that helps me to be less vigilant?

This pattern, needing to check to feel safe is something that therapists can work on through approaches like CBT or ERP. If the distress becomes too much, you can always reach someone at Mindline 1771; they can help you steady before you spiral.

The “investigator” in you was built out of survival. We can slowly help it learn that safety can come from calm, not control.

[Zerooo]

Hey there, thank you for sharing something so personal.

It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now, and I can imagine how exhausting it must feel to constantly be stuck in this cycle of worrying and “investigating.” What you’re describing sounds like your mind’s way of trying to feel safe and in control, but it’s become overwhelming and is affecting your daily life. It’s understandable that you’re feeling so distressed.

One thing that might help is to slowly practice tolerating uncertainty. When you feel the urge to investigate, try delaying it for a few minutes instead of acting on it right away. Focus on grounding yourself, take slow breaths, notice your surroundings, or remind yourself that not every thought needs to be solved. These small steps can help retrain your brain over time.

Because this has been affecting your ability to eat and function, I’d really encourage you to reach out for professional support. You can contact Mindline at 1771 as mentioned in the previous reply or CHAT for free counselling support. You don’t have to go through this alone, and with the right help, things can get better:)

[nafas]

Hey @user7467,

I’m sorry that you’re struggling with anxiety and worry every day, and feeling like you need to “avert” something from happening. That sounds like such a heavy weight to carry. I can imagine how draining it must be, both physically and emotionally, to always be on alert and unable to rest or eat in a way that feels peaceful. The retching and waking up distressed show just how deeply this is affecting your body as well as your mind.

I can understand how, when a worry or prediction comes true, it strengthens the belief that the next ones will too, and you feel you have to investigate and try to stop them. That is a really hard cycle to be caught in, and even trying to push those thoughts away can feel just as overwhelming. While uncertainty is uncomfortable, it does not mean it is harmful. Often it is just a trick our minds play, making us fear what we cannot be sure of. And when we are always chasing certainty, it takes away our chance to be present and enjoy the moment.

You are not alone in this. Many people go through struggles like this, and it takes real courage to speak about it. I really appreciate you sharing it here.

You asked what you can do to overcome it. I have seen that others have already offered some thoughtful advice, so instead I just want to be here to listen and sit with you in it.