Hi, I’d like to ask. So lately I’ve been feeling like I shouldn’t be happy. I am pretty sure I am not depressed (I think) because I still laugh with my friends, smile and do things I normally do. But there are times where when I laugh, I stop midway because I feel like I shouldn’t be laughing for some reason. I have also been tired lately. I slept during the evening even though I usually don’t and would wake up with low energy or sometimes cry very hard and eventually cut myself. Sometimes while reading or studying, my tears suddenly flow down and for no reason at all. I’ve been cutting myself just simply because I feel like I deserve it and I find peace in doing so. If don’t cut myself, I feel like something is wrong with me. When I am happy, I feel like I want to go back to being sad. Is there something wrong with me? May I ask for your opinion about this pls? Thank you
Hi @breezyolive379,
Thank you for trusting me with something so personal.
What you described does sound like something worth taking seriously. Crying without knowing why, feeling like you don’t deserve happiness, and cutting yourself, these are all signs that you’re carrying something heavy right now, even if you’re still able to laugh and function day to day. Those two things can exist at the same time, and it doesn’t make what you’re feeling any less real.
I’d like to understand a bit more, how long has this been going on for you?
I also want to gently ask, do you cut to help you cope with the feelings when they get too overwhelming? I’m asking because I want to understand what you’re going through.
One thing I do want to say though: cutting yourself, even if it brings temporary relief, can cause real harm to your body and over time it can become harder to stop. What you’re feeling deserves proper care and support, not pain.
Have you been able to talk to anyone about this? A trusted adult, a school counsellor, a family member, or a friend?
If things ever feel like too much, please do reach out to someone.
Hi, this has been going on for a month now. I cut myself when I feel like there are too many emotions inside of me that I cannot explain and sometimes cut myself as a form of punishment. I don’t really have an answer for why I cut myself or why I cry. I just feel something but I don’t know what it is and if I don’t cut myself I feel like I am going to explode.
Thank you for sharing more.
A month sounds like a significant amount of time to be carrying this, and the fact that you’re here talking about it matters.
The unexplained emotions, feeling of needing to release them somehow and the sense that you deserve pain are real and serious things. You don’t have to have all the answers or be able to name exactly what you’re feeling for it to count as something worth getting help for.
I’d really encourage you to speak to a counsellor or mental health professional, someone who can sit with you in these feelings and help you find safer ways through them. If you’re in school, a school counsellor can be a good first step. If you’re in Singapore, you can also reach out to National Mindline 1771 via call @ 1771 or WhatsApp at 6669 1771.