So basically i like this guy who i have talked to, we both know quite niche things abt one another, we are friends and many times I used to feel that he liked me and thats what made me also start liking him. I like him for how kind he is, how he is confident and doesnt stress easily, how patient he is. Idk if he does like me, the chances feel low, but he does a few things that make me feel like maybe he does. Idk, idek if hes sending mixed signals purposely or what. I lowkey have so many questions for him, why did he say a few things etc and i was thinking of confessing to him but the things holding me back are that he will be going overseas for 6 months and after he comes back ill have to see him. So even if he does like me or is interested we wld have to talk and date with such a huge distance for a long time and idk if thats what i want. And if he doesnt like me then i font want to have the awkward interation of meeting him next year when he comes back. Also he is leaving in just a few days so i dont feel nice dumping my emotions on him when he is just about to leave. Its a big change, gg overseas, and idwt burden him or make it weird because of my confession. When i think abt how hes leaving in just a few days i feel like idwt confess, but then i also dk how to move on atp, it has been so long since i have spoken to him and i still cant move on. Idw it to be like: even by the time he returns im not over him. Idwt waste my time like that.
Thank you for taking the time to write in to let’s talk! It must have been a really difficult position for you to be in especially when the timing just feels like it is working against you.
It sounds like the main thing here is that you are conflicted between 2 options. Confess and deal with uncertainty of distance or rejection, or stay quiet and risk being in the same place emotionally when he get backs a year from now. Neither option feels great, so I can imagine why that has been weighing on you so much.
Moving on does not require a confession or clear answer from him. Closure actually comes from within. You can decide without telling him anything thar you are going to actively work on redirection your energy. That may be hard but definitely possible! That said, if part of what is keeping you stuck is all the unanswered questions, a confession might not even answer those questions.
Timing is also another concern here. Confessing days before someone leaves for 6 months puts both of you in a limbo. If he does like you back, then what do you think that might look like? The question is what do you actually want out of this? Is it to be with him or is it more that you want to stop feeling this way?