Anger Issues?

I think I’ve anger issues. When something or someone has made me really angry, I feel like it’s really hard to regulate myself. I get aggressive and my thoughts become very violent.

At the end of the cycle, I feel so drained and scared. I also usually have a bad headache afterwards.

What should I do.
Please help.

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Hey @Matchastrawberry, I can tell this has been really distressing for you :people_hugging: Have you spoken to anyone about this ? If you don’t have anyone to speak to at the moment then maybe you can consider looking for your nearest family service centre https://www.aic.sg/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Mind-Matters-Resource-Directory-Listings.pdf

Hmm just curious what was it that made you really angry ?

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Me too , Just yesterday a guy stared me down and i got very angry. Afterwards i felt very light headed. I told myself to calm down and not get worked up cause i think its giving me high blood pressure that will lead to stroke…

So doing my best to keep my calm and just let things be. Some people are just assholes cause they werent brought up the proper way or they had a bad week etc… So my advice is to learn your anger trigger points. Mine is when people are arrogant or want to show off that they are big time gangsters or have a bigger balls… I let them be cause Karma will take care of the rest.

Wishing you the best and Have a good week :slight_smile:

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Hey @Matchastrawberry

Thanks for being open to share about what you’re currently struggling with. Anger can really be a hard emotion to control and I do relate with what you shared. I think it’s great that you’re aware of the intensity of your emotions when anger arises. It takes strength to reflect after an episode and try to do better, so kudos to you for taking the first step! :muscle:t2:

From my personal experience, what I find helpful is to be mindful of the physical changes that occur when I start to get agitated e.g. body temperature rising, frowning, clenching of teeth etc. and try to catch myself before things get escalated. At this point, I would try to ask myself some questions to trigger the “thinking” part of my brain :brain:: “Would this issue matter to me this time next week?”, “Is there a solution to this issue that I have yet to explore?”, “Could the issue be resolved by asking someone for help?” etc. && of course to take this time to breathe :dash: as I’m thinking. Do you know what are some of the physical triggers that you have when you start to feel angry?

Lastly, I just want to end off by saying that it is normal and natural to feel angry. Anger is an emotion that helps us to understand when our boundaries are crossed and allows us to defend ourselves. However, it is also our responsibility to learn how to regulate our responses to anger such that it does not lead to aggression. I hope you give yourself time to learn and be patient with yourself. Should you need support on your journey, we’ll be happy to listen! :smiling_face: :sparkles:

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Hi @Matchastrawberry :wave:

Thank you for sharing your struggles with us. I want to start by acknowledging the strength it takes to recognise and acknowledge that you’re struggling with anger. It’s not easy to confront our emotions, especially when they feel overwhelming and difficult to manage.

Anger is a natural emotion that we all experience from time to time, and it often serves as an indicator that something is triggering us or causing distress. At the core of it, anger is actually ingrained into our brain to protect us - it causes our heart rate to increase, and a rush of hormones is released to create a surge of energy so that we can take action. However, when anger becomes intense or leads to aggression and violent thoughts, it can be concerning and impact various aspects of our lives, including our mental and physical well-being.

First and foremost, it’s essential to prioritise your safety and well-being. If you ever feel like you’re in immediate danger of harming yourself or others, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support. You can also contact emergency services or a crisis hotline (SOS: 1-767) for immediate assistance.

In addition to seeking professional help, there are steps you can take to manage your anger and its associated symptoms. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises (Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg) and meditation, can help you become more aware of your emotions and regulate your responses. Engaging in regular physical activity of your choice, such as walking, jogging, or yoga, can also be beneficial in releasing pent-up tension and stress.

Importantly, I want to encourage you to identify and address any underlying triggers or stressors that may be contributing to your anger. Try thinking of anger like an iceberg - most of an iceberg is hidden below the surface of the water, and at times, anger functions in a similar manner. When we’re angry, there can be other emotions that are hidden beneath the surface. It may be easier to identify anger in yourself and/or others, but more challenging to see the underlying feelings that the anger may be protecting. Keeping a journal to track your emotions and experiences can help you gain insight into patterns and triggers. Additionally, practising healthy communication skills and setting boundaries in your relationships can help prevent conflicts and reduce feelings of anger and frustration. You can read more on the anger iceberg here: Anger Iceberg | Worksheet | Therapist Aid

If you are comfortable, you could also share with us your insights or reflections from trying out some of these suggestions listed above. Remember that you don’t have to navigate this journey on your own, and you’ve taken a very courageous first step in asking for help! Our community is here for you, and there are also Professionals who can provide guidance and support tailored to your individual needs that you can reach out to. Please take care of yourself and reach out for help whenever you need it. You deserve to feel empowered and in control of your emotions. :muscle:

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hello thr!! it seems tht you are hvg trouble with anger issue. its pretty normal to have this kind of feeling. but you can actually change it. i tried this method of feeling whats the reason for me to be mad at someone over a small matter?? what would the person feel?? is it smtg worth it to be angry abt?? yea just hv this thoughts in your mind whenever you feel angry. hope this helps you:)

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