for context i’m currently a final year interior design student in poly and someone who has always loved art and does it on the side as mostly a hobby (though i have tried to see if i could maybe make it a career online and failed) . as uni application period has just started / is about to start, i’m getting seriously anxious because i have zero clue what im going to do after graduation.
i’m a good student with a good gpa, and i don’t hate what i’m doing at all, i know i do enjoy it to some extent, but after not just my horrible internship experience but overall observing the unbalanced work life of my colleagues, combined with the sure-ness my classmates seem to have about this industry and what they want to do, i’m questioning whether this is the kind of life i want to have.
so i thought about going into teaching since i do have some interest in it too, but the pathways are confusing to me and theres a lot of commitment with how theres always a bond with MOE. i could either take another diploma but be limited to teaching non core subjects at primary level, or go to uni THEN go study to become a teacher. but then it circles back to the question of what will i study at uni???
the strongest thing i have a passion for is art, but its a scary thing to pursue, because will i be able to make it when i always haven’t been able to? what if it turns me against the one thing i have loved my whole life? and whether i go into an art related course or not in uni, what if i make the wrong choice and waste my parents money?? we’re not “poor” but my parents aren’t young and the last thing i want is to burden them more.
you can see where the concern is by now. that i feel so lost, that even with my high grades, my seemingly good accolates, i feel like i have nowhere to go, like i have no place in this world and its really scary. honestly, my lack of confidence and unsureness in everything is really taxing on my mental health when i just can’t see a future with me in it.
to summarise:
- go to try to work in ID after poly despite not feeling the same passion and frevor as my classmates?
- go to uni? —> what do i study? can i even get in if i apply into an art course with a weak portfolio where ive only done ID the past 3 years? will i regret and waste money? —> do i go into it then go out to work or do i go study to become a teacher but risk getting locked into a bond if i end up not finding my calling there?
- take a gap year? but i’ll feel like i squandered the “potential” i have with my consistently high grades and im just pushing back the decision? will i just be a burden on my parents basically becoming a NEET?
- some unknown other option ???
i just need some reassurance, guidance, sharing of experiences, anything that can even just help settle and guide my thoughts more than this weird jumping around and panicking because i feel like im doomed and don’t know what to do, when it feels like my future is so bleak, that no matter what i try to do im going to make a mistake somehow someway, i dont know what i want, or how to get to it even if i did.