I feel stuck here, I don't know want to do

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It’s me Lee again (Malaysia), and for months I feel like I’m pretty stuck on what should I do now.

Many told me that I should study at a university like everyone else, yet I don’t think I’m interested into studying anymore. The reason why is during my school years I never focus on my studies, never took them seriously even exam is near, either my laziness made me lost my academic potential, or the school I was in was bad that I gave up studying because the circumstances at that time severely depressed me on studying.

Even if I want to study at a university even with enough credit, I would have to tell my parents to borrow educational loans to pay off courses to study, after that I would have to work at a job to pay off those debts. While they are willing to help and even insisted on going to one, I still wasn’t interested in studying anymore because my academic performance was so bad it only barely passed our national’s exam, and I would have to study a course subject that I wasn’t interested, plus getting a job I never wanted just to pay off debts. I just find the idea of studying at a university wasn’t for me, it would be too wasteful to try that path.

Then what about work at a job then ? The idea of working at a job is scary for me unfortunately. I remember I watched many videos about how many people related to squidward, working at a dead end job for the rest of his life. Then I also watched people in China doing the ‘lying flat’ movement because they have to work long hours for low paying wages. The most scariest thing about working at a job would mean reducing my free time to do workouts and drawing artworks, because by the time when I came home working I would be too tired to do those things. I saw some jobs also required you to stand long hours, something which I can’t due to lower back pain.(Still haven’t treated fully yet)

So now I’m just stuck at home, as the world moves on without me. I just don’t know what to do anymore, too uninterested and scared to go to a university, yet also too scared to get a job due to afraid of less free time for myself and increase tiredness and physical pain.

So yeah, I’m really not built for this world.

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Dear @Lee1

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts so honestly — it takes courage to open up like this. First, I want to gently remind you that feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that something is wrong with you. It simply means you’re at a point in your life where reflection is happening — and reflection is often the beginning of change.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re carrying the weight of a lot of expectations — from society, from your family, and even from yourself. But you’re also incredibly self-aware, and that’s a strength not everyone has. You’ve taken the time to think deeply about what doesn’t feel right for you, and that matters.

Here are a few thoughts I hope might help:

1. You’re not alone in feeling this way.

Many people — especially young adults — go through periods of feeling lost, especially when they’re pressured to follow paths that don’t align with their passions or health. You’re not lazy or “not built for this world.” You’re someone trying to find a path that makes sense for you, and that’s brave.

2. Education isn’t one-size-fits-all.

University is not the only route. Some people thrive through vocational training, part-time learning, apprenticeships, or even self-taught paths. If you’re interested in art and drawing, could you explore a shorter online design or illustration course first? Or slowly build a portfolio while you explore possibilities?

3. Work doesn’t have to mean suffering.

Not all jobs require long hours or standing all day. There are remote or flexible jobs that allow for more breathing room — especially ones related to digital work (e.g. basic design, freelance illustration, data entry, etc.). You can start small — maybe part-time, or project-based — just to test the waters while still having energy for drawing or recovery.

4. It’s okay to take time to heal.

You mentioned ongoing lower back pain and emotional exhaustion — those are very real and valid challenges. It’s okay to prioritise healing — physically and emotionally — before rushing into anything. Have you had the chance to speak to a professional about the pain and mental exhaustion? There might be affordable clinics or support services locally that can help.

5. You still have time.

You’re not falling behind — even if it feels that way. Everyone moves at their own pace. The most important thing is that you’re still here, still asking questions, still trying to figure things out — and that means you’re not stuck, you’re in progress.

A few small steps to consider:

  • Write down what activities make you feel calm, excited, or like yourself — even if they seem small or “unimportant.”
  • Talk to a counsellor or mentor if you can.
  • Try one small project related to your interests (like drawing something to share online, or learning one new thing about a creative skill you enjoy).
  • Give yourself permission not to have it all figured out right now.

You are allowed to build a life that fits you — not the other way around.

You’re not alone, Lee. And you’re not broken — you’re just figuring it out in your own way. That’s not weakness. That’s resilience.

Take care, and keep reaching out when needed ! :yellow_heart:

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hi @Lee1,

It must be incredibly tough on you to be stuck between pressure to follow a traditional path and your own interests and concerns. It is completely valid to feel this way and it is important to acknowledge your feelings.

It does seem to me like studying and working are both not appealing to you right now. You do not have to feel stuck. For example, have you considered selling your drawings online or doing digital art? Alternatively, like what @CaringBee mentioned, you can also take some online course (meaning you can learn at your own pace in your own home) in digital drawing, graphics design or something that has elements of what you enjoy.

The path you take in life is unique, so take things slowly and don’t push yourself :slight_smile:

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Hey Lee,

I am very encouraged that you were able to articulate your reflective thoughts sequentially from level of self, level of family and on to society. That is rare even for thinkers as most would be “lost in their own thoughts.”

The way you write reflects that you do have that certain level of logic which is why you are able to identify your fear or factors not preparing you for the society.

If you allow me to pace with you from a different view, may I ask what would be the current factors that could be preparing you for society in general not mentioning anything academic?

Has interactions with friends, teachers, relatives gave you some ideas about your own strengths?

While you have written at lengths what you do not have at hand, would that help to let you see what you do have at hand?

The first thing I felt you have at hand is parental support.

Correct me if I am wrong, you wrote that your parents will still take up loan even though you dont know which faculty you are applying to?

Anyone or any thing else gives you comfort to your heart to look forward to?

Glad to be here waiting for your reply.

Cheers and wishing you clarity for your systematic mind.

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Hey buoy, thanks for the message. And since u have questions I’ll try answer them why.

1)No current factors that would make me prepare for society, at least not that I know of.

2)No one has gave me ideas about my own strengths, I don’t have any at all.

3)Not sure me written at lengths would help me what do I have at hand, I’m just typing stuff that I clearly don’t have bravery to be in society.

4)My mom clearly wants me to at least go to college so that I won’t stuck at home but problem is I’m so disillusioned with studying that I just don’t think it’s a good idea because I would’ve wasted it all.

5)Obviously not, a slight comfort will be crushed, reminding me that I’m a failed adult for not doing anything that current society is doing, like going to college or getting a job. Only comfort I had is drawing, but it doesn’t contribute to anything at all.

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Hi, it’s me Lee. Thanks for your very kind message, wanna reply to u about something.

In 2. you mentioned about explore a shorter online design or illustration course. Months ago, I suggested that to my mom but she disagreed, saying it’s only for those who had studied in college who still wanted to study online, not for beginners. I tried to reason with her but that ended in an argument. Never brought that up again.

I would love to learn on an online digital art course but, my mom would disagreed, try reasoning with her would be like carefully avoiding fighting a tiger, or in this case Asian mom, which she wouldn’t change her mind.

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Hi @Lee1,

Reading your replies, I just want to say — I really admire how honest and reflective you are. It’s not easy to articulate these struggles so clearly, but you’ve done it. That alone already shows a strength many people don’t realise they have: self-awareness. That’s actually a kind of intelligence — intrapersonal intelligence — and it’s super valuable, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

You said you don’t think anything prepares you for society or that you don’t have strengths, but I think it might be more that you haven’t discovered or named them yet. Strengths aren’t always obvious, and they don’t need to be big or “loud.” From what I’ve seen, you’re resourceful — you found this platform, you’ve thought about online courses, you’re questioning and exploring your options. That is a kind of preparation for society. You’re thinking deeply and trying to figure things out — and that’s huge. Maybe try to actively search for strengths in yourself, and even if you feel like you can’t find them right now, trust that they’re there. You’re still growing. Still learning. Still becoming.

About college — I think that choice should ultimately come from you, not pressure. There are pros, like gaining structure, connections, and a formal qualification. But there are cons too — cost, mental strain, and the risk of burnout if you’re not ready. If you do consider it again, maybe look into more flexible or creative-related courses first, especially if that lines up more with your interests.

As for comfort and encouragement — I believe it doesn’t have to only come from family. If the people around you right now don’t understand, that doesn’t mean the right ones aren’t out there. Try to step out slowly and find your people — those who share your values and passions. Since you like drawing, you could post your art just for fun, or even create an art account. (I’ve tried before — it’s not easy to grow, but it can be meaningful!) You could offer to draw something for friends, or see if anyone’s interested in commissioning a small piece. Try attending free local art events, or even just emailing artists you admire — the worst is no reply, but sometimes you’ll get kind responses that really stay with you.

And just to say — I LOVE hand-drawn art. I really can’t do it superrr well at all (but I’ve tried it and also digital art). But I deeply believe it does contribute! Art heals people. It brings joy. It makes people feel seen and understood. It’s more than valid — it’s needed. I feel like it heals souls (whether the artist’s or the viewers) and not many people can do it.

Online courses can also be found for free (YouTube, Coursera, Skillshare trials, etc.). The key is to ask yourself: what do I want? Not forever — just for now. What do you want to try, or feel, or build? Then take a tiny first step in that direction.

You’re not “not built for this world.” You’re just still finding your shape in it. And that’s okay.

Rooting for you!!

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