I am gradutaing sch in May so i have to find a job soon but i need a portfolio and im not confident in myself lmao. Thing is, why do i not have a sense of urgency and motivation? Got rejected for an internship recently and im just like …ok lor. But it was a job that i really wanted so why am i not sad or anything? Trying to help out in my part time job (cafe) by doing the social media part, so that includes video editing which i find fun(?) but i suck and i take so long to do it. Like i have ideas but it doesnt translate well in my work? I just feel like im stuck and unable how to get out. I want to get to work, do stuff, be happy, be a better person and get my dream job but im so tired even though i barely do anything. I hate this so much. Im 27 too so sometimes i feel like everything needs to be urgently done but i got no time 
is it normal to not feel anything at all?
(post deleted by author)
Hi @Brownbutter
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us here, I can hear the frustration and uncertainty in your words, and it’s completely understandable. Graduating from school and stepping into the job market can feel like an overwhelming transition, especially when faced with the pressure to build a portfolio and find your place in your desired field. It’s actually super common to struggle with confidence during this time (I did too!), especially if you’ve faced rejection or setbacks like the internship rejection you mentioned.
When we feel a lack of urgency or motivation, it can sometimes be a result of feeling overwhelmed or unsure of where to start. It also sounds like you’re already taking steps to explore your interests and skills through your part-time job at the cafe, particularly with the social media and video editing tasks. Finding aspects of your work that you enjoy, like video editing, is a good sign, even if you feel like you’re not progressing as quickly as you’d like. Remember, every skill takes time and practice to develop.
Here are a few suggestions that you can try for yourself:
-
Break Down Your Goals
When you feel overwhelmed, it might be helpful to break down your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. For example, if you’re working on the portfolio, you can start by outlining the sections you want to include or gathering examples of your work. Breaking things down like this makes it easier to stay focused and makes progress feel more achievable -
Seek Feedback! It’s okay to not feel confident in your work sometimes, especially when it comes to something new like video editing. Sometimes, seeking feedback from others can provide valuable insights and help you to improve.
-
Practice Self-Compassion
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to not have everything figured out right away. You’re still learning and growing, and that’s perfectly normal. Instead of being too hard on yourself for not being where you want to be, try to practice self-compassion and acknowledge the progress you’ve made so far. Celebrating even small victories can help keep you motivated and moving forward!
I hope that these suggestions can benefit you in some way, please do try them out and keep us updated on how you’re coping. We’re here for you!
Hear from you soon!
i feel you @Brownbutter >< wanting to do more but body and mind not being able to actually do more… i’m also trying to figure it out, i read somewhere that this phenomenon is your mind and body telling you subconsciously that you are not being honest with what you truly want, but rather forcing yourself to live up to what you think is expected of you. but sometimes it also feels like we dont have a choice to not do what we are expected to. i find it somewhat helpful to first give your a pat on the shoulder for trying (be kind to yourself first and foremost okie!!), then sit down comfortably, give yourself some space and think “what is 1 or 2 things you will feel comfortable working on that will also be aligned with your goals?”. take small steps 
bit by bittttt, all the best!!!
Yeahh I get the feeling of not being able to translate ideas into reality 
I recently experienced that in my painting class where my green apple started to look like the mr coconut logo LOL
Hmmm but jokes aside its okay to take things step by step at your own pace. Keep trying and eventually you will see that you’ve gone pretty far 
If you are tired then take a break to recharge and step aside from the task for a while. If you are stuck it might be good to find people you can learn from ? Online communities on discord or reddit may help give inspiration as well.
Anyways you are doing good heh kudos to you for wanting to be a better person and improve yourself so dont worry too much alright 