I am in my early 20s and I am still
Job hunting but to no avail. I just feel like I need to match my pace with my friends. A lot of them have a decent job and/or planning to start a family while I am still stuck here looking for a job. I honestly dk what I’m doing wrong…why does no jobs want to hire me? I have my future plans ahead but my life doesn’t feel like it’s moving because I have yet to find a job. Everyday I doubt myself on whether I’m deemed “acceptable” to society. I heard a lot of people get job offers by connections which made me feel hopeless in securing a place in society. I’m always told the world is unfair. sometimes I hate the thought of living in an “unfair world” and having to watch everyone move fast while I sit here and wait for a miracle to happen.
@user1394 It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed when things don’t seem to fall into place as quickly as you’d hoped. First of all, let me assure you that you’re not alone in feeling this way—especially in the current job market, which is challenging for youngsters such as yourself. It’s common to face difficulties finding your footing right after graduation, and it doesn’t reflect on your worth or abilities.
I understand how tough it can be to see your friends moving ahead in their lives while you feel like you’re stuck. But comparing yourself to others often creates unnecessary pressure. Instead, try to reframe your perspective. Focus on comparing yourself today with who you were yesterday. Think about how you can improve, even in small ways, and take pride in those steps forward.
Just to share that I first started my career as a casual staff (e.g., 1-year contract paid by the hour - and below market rate) as I could not find a full time job. Similar to you, I felt inadequate and wondered if I was “lousier” than others. But I focused on building my skills, gaining experience, and staying persistent. Over time, not only did I catch up, but I also found myself doing better than I ever imagined—better even than some of those I’d initially compared myself to. 
Main point is that your journey doesn’t have to follow the same timeline as anyone else’s. Every step you take, no matter how small, is moving you closer to your goals. Opportunities can come from unexpected places (e.g., doing well in a part time job) , so keep building your skills, networking where you can, and holding on to your future plans.
Remember, it’s okay to feel down sometimes, but don’t let those feelings make you give up. Jia you!
Do you have a very niche area of expertise? Is this first job? Maybe can consider expanding your job search to other industries and see if there’s anything that catches your eye
I think everyone has different pace of life. You may not have secure a job yet doesnt mean you are losing out compared to others. Everyone has different pace of life. Just a thought of my head, perhaps can give it a try on career talks, career coaches, internships or contract jobs.
I have job experiences in the field I am applying for currently and also venturing out into different fields. So far, after applying for 50+ jobs (in and out of the field), hardly any have gotten back to me
how’s the job hunt @user1394? hoping that you get some offers (or at least even some experience with the job interviews!)
hello @user1394 ,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. Job hunting can be incredibly challenging and it’s easy to feel discouraged, especially when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward, just like what ZenCat has mentioned. What you are feeling is completely normal.
I would encourage you to keep working on yourself. Attend online courses (platforms like Coursera & Udemy works for majority of companies). Make use of Skills Future credits if you have them. Attend events (do not necessarily have to be networking events) - there are plenty of free events on apps like Eventbrite, you will never know who you will meet.
In the meantime, i would also encourage you to do a part time job, or a contract-based job. Not only will you get a little bit of income while job hunting; it may also give you relevant experience to your dream job.
And just like ZenCat has mentioned, everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself to others can often lead to unnecessary stress. Just because your friends are at a different stage in their lives doesn’t mean you’re falling behind. You’re on your own path, and that’s okay.
I wish you the best of luck!
Hey there, I can understand how tough it must be to feel like everyone around you is moving forward while you’re still figuring things out. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing your progress to others, especially when you’re seeing people land jobs or start big life plans. But I think it’s important to remember that everyone’s path is different. Just because it’s taking time for you now doesn’t mean you’re falling behind or that something’s wrong.
Job hunting can be a long and sometimes discouraging process, but it doesn’t define your worth or your place in society. Your time will come, and you’re still in a phase where you’re learning, growing, and preparing for what’s next. It’s not always about immediate results—it’s about where you’ll end up with the right effort and timing.
Also, I know it’s frustrating when you hear about connections helping others, but that doesn’t mean your journey is any less valuable. It’s okay to take your time and find the right fit for you, even if it’s not happening right away. You don’t have to match anyone else’s pace.
Right now, focusing on your own growth, whether it’s through networking, building skills, or just gaining more experience, can help you feel like you’re moving forward. It’s okay to be uncertain—it’s all part of the process. Keep going, and things will start to align when they’re meant to.
I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Job hunting can be stressful and challenging and it’s easy to feel overhwelmed, discouraged and lost, especially when people around you are moving forward. However, everyone has a different pace of life. Maybe you just haven’t found the right job. You can try attending career talks or learn new and current skills while working a contract job or internship. Maybe that could help you in deciding whether the field you want to work in is really what you want!
All the best!