Struggling with myself

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Hi, it’s my first time here. I’m not sure how this works but I’m just giving this a shot.

I’m writing my A levels in 3 months. I have yet to start studying. I’ve been procrastinating out of reasons i have no clue about. I can definitely do something if I pull myself together within these three months. But i just can’t bring myself to.

I’m not okay. I’m tired. Life doesn’t feel worth it anymore. I don’t find anything important to me. I have studies I’m interested in pursuing further but i have no drive. I’m just stuck in this moment where nothing seems to matter.

I have no one to reach out to and no one to talk to because of my situation. Most of the family responsibility falls on me and nowadays, it’s getting exhausting. Having to balance everything is so hard, i just don’t want to balance anything anymore. I spent my whole life catering to what my parents and everyone else expected of me that now, I don’t know who i am anymore. My head’s too loud. I need to constantly be listening to music or doing something that doesn’t involve much thinking or i get too into my head and i spiral. I really want to study and do well but every day is a struggle. I don’t feel like doing even basic things anymore. I can’t seek professional help as my family will 100% turn on me. I can’t remember the last time i was truly happy with my life. All I can remember is when it all started falling apart and it feels like things have always been falling apart for me. I’m so sick of myself and my life. But for some reason, none of my emotions, whether positive or negative, are strong enough to motivate me to do anything. Everything i feel is just a dull ache and i can’t feel anything strongly enough to act on it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Quite frankly, I don’t know what i want in the long-term. Right now, i just want to do well for my As. I need to study for that. But i just can’t do anything. I feel so sluggish and everything feels pointless. I’m always stuck in my head, hiding from my reality. I’m tired.

I feel miserable and just want a break. But i don’t have the time for it now. I know i can just relax once my As are over but even that isn’t motivation enough for me. Everything feels so pointless.

I don’t know what I’m trying to achieve by posting this because, again, don’t really know what this site i exactly for. I just happened to stumble upon it. Maybe I’m hoping something will break me out of this mental prison I’m in and help me start studying for my As and I’ll have something to look forward to in life again? I don’t know.

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Hey @user0241. Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you’re carrying, despite how painful it is for you. I can feel that it’s heavy, and you’ve been holding it in for so long. It sounds like you’re burnt out, overwhelmed, and tired of feeling like you’re just surviving.

From what you shared, I don’t see someone who’s lazy. I see someone who’s exhausted. Someone who cares deeply about your future, your family, your responsibilities but is running on empty. You’ve been showing up for everyone else, and now there’s barely left for you.

Despite all that, here you are, still hoping something might change. That hope, however faint it feels, is already your strength.

The part of you that wrote this post? That’s the part that hasn’t given up. The part where you said you want to do well? That tells me you haven’t given up. Not even close.

And maybe we don’t need to find big solutions today. Maybe we just start by letting you be human. You deserve rest. You deserve understanding. And yes, you can still get through this, even if today it looks more like surviving than striving.

You mentioned that you can’t seek professional help because your family would turn on you. That tells me you’ve thought about it that part of you knows you deserve help. And that part of you is absolutely right.

Even if traditional routes aren’t possible right now, it doesn’t mean you’re out of options. Some people find anonymous helplines, school counsellors, or even free online spaces to be helpful starting points.

You don’t have to commit to anything big, just finding one safe pocket of support might make a difference.

Also, I wonder… what if instead of asking “Why can’t I just do it?”, let’s shift to:

What do I need to feel safe enough to begin?
What kind of support would help me breathe again?

You’re not broken. You’re just in need of care, not criticism. You’re doing the best that you can, and I see that.

May you never forget that you are worth the effort it takes to feel better, even if it’s one breath, one step at a time. :sunflower:

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Dear @user0241

Thank you for writing in and sharing what you are currently struggling with. Please know that you are not alone. Studying for ‘ A’ levels is truly hard and many of us who have gone through it can attest to that. You reaching out here is a good first step you have taken, and shows your determination to take positive action to better yourself, so well done. :yellow_heart:

On top of taking responsibility for your academics, you have been also taking responsibility for your family. Like what @ScribblingSunflower shared, it is fully understandable how you are feeling with these responsibilities, which you have described as numbness, hopelessness and overwhelm. A lot has been placed your shoulders.

May I gently suggest for you to start small with the academics. There is 3 months of runway towards ‘A’s and I believe you can still prepare well with small consistent daily revision. Speak to a trusted school teacher and seek their guidance on working out a study plan for each subject.

Stock take what you know and areas to address. Use the Pomodoro method and start with 20 min study sessions, 5 min breaks and repeat. Reflect daily on your achievements, what went well, what to improve the next day. For topics you are unsure of, arrange consultations.

Write thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts which arise), in a journal to help externalise and process them. Remember thoughts are just thoughts, so hold them lightly and re-centre focus on your studies. Celebrate small wins, such as understanding a topic that you didn’t before.

For those times where you feel deeply distressed, pls consider calling the anonymous helpline 1771.

I want to remind you too how far you have already come in this journey despite challenges in your path. Take small consistent actions, adjust and change where needed, set up daily routines that work and I’m confident you will see progress soon. Keep reaching out in this forum for support whenever needed. :yellow_heart:

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What course do u want to get into for uni? U can start from there. Finding motivation to do things for me is mindmapping why i have to do something. Keep asking why. E.g. u have to get a certain grade to get into a course u want in uni. What are the consequences of not getting into that course etc. of course jc will be hard if u have no interest in the subjects so i have no comments about that. I will keep the list of whys so that i can refer to it to feel motivation again n add more to the list too

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Hello @user0241

I think @user1138 brought up a very interesting point, I think sometimes we can motivate ourselves by remembering our whys, like why are we doing this, it can give us that extra push…

But it also sounds like you’re juggling a lot, there’s a lot on your plate and that is tiring you out. I know you said that you’ve no one to talk to but I’m glad you reached out on let’s talk to share about what you’re facing.

I think taking the first step out of procrastination is always very hard… you might have heard of trying to break up your task eg. like instead of saying I’m going to study Math, you could say ok, I’m going to focus on this chapter or practice x number of questions. Might also be good to break up your study time like instead of studying for 1.5 hours straight, you could break it into 30mins blocks so after every 30 mins, take a short 5 mins break, go toilet, stretch… it might help feel less dreadful

If you’d like to talk to anyone or share your feelings you’re always welcome to share them on let’s talk. Additionally, if you’d like I know of some other mental health platforms where you could talk to peer supporters and even professionals (counsellors, psychologist) for a short period of time (short term).

Take care

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Hi @user0241,

It sounds like you’re carrying an overwhelming weight - trying to meet expectations, hold your family together, and somehow still find the energy to care about your own future, all while feeling emotionally numb and mentally exhausted. You’re not just tired from studying or responsibilities; you’re tired from feeling like you’ve lost yourself in the process, like you’re stuck in a loop where nothing feels meaningful anymore. You’re reaching out not because you expect a miracle, but because something deep inside you still hopes for a shift, a spark, anything to remind you that your life can feel worth living again. That hope matters - and I’m here to sit with you in it.

If you are looking to explore these issues with a professional, you may approach these free mental health services for youths:

Youth Integrated Team (YIT): SupportGoWhere

Youth Community Outreach Team (CREST-Youth):

CHAT by IMH: https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Get-Help/Pages/default.aspx

All other services:

Best regards,
Han_Solo_2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

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Hello, thank you for sharing here :heart_hands: I understand that you feel a little exhausted, and your feelings are valid. As a student myself, I understand that it can get stressful, and we all deserve a little break to clear our thoughts, before getting into rhythm. I usually take a stroll in the park near my house just to calm down and recollect.

What helped me when things got hectic is by starting small. A small task, such as going through a section of the work, or a subject I enjoy studying.

This platform is a safe and welcoming space where you also can share your experience or problems on school and anything in general.

Rooting for you OP, take care and celebrate small wins :star::sunflower:

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Hey @user0241,
Thank you for opening up about something so deeply personal. The vulnerability it takes to reach out when your mind feels this chaotic - that’s not just admirable, it’s brave beyond measure~ :blue_heart:

I can feel how overwhelming everything has become for you. When your thoughts are that loud, that relentless, it’s like trying to exist in the middle of a storm that never stops. The exhaustion you’re feeling isn’t weakness - it’s your system trying to cope with an incredible amount of internal noise. Of course you’re tired. Of course you’re overwhelmed. These feelings aren’t just valid - they’re completely human :fallen_leaf:

And then there are your A-Levels on top of everything else. That crushing weight of knowing exactly what you ‘should’ be doing - studying, focusing, being productive - while feeling completely unable to bridge the gap between knowing and doing. That disconnect is maddening, and the frustration you feel makes perfect sense

But right here, right now, I want you to pause with me for a moment. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice your breath moving in and out. In this exact second - what do you choose? :herb:

Maybe it’s choosing to be gentle with yourself. Maybe it’s choosing to take one small step. Maybe it’s simply choosing to keep breathing through this moment

This question has been my anchor in the stormiest seasons: What do I choose right now at this moment? Many a times we don’t realize the profound importance of the present moment - that in every second of a day, calculating to up to 86,400 seconds in a day, we have a choice to gently choose. We can shape our lives and that starts with every now, every present moment yeah? ~🍃

I hear how desperately you want answers, how urgently you need relief. But what if the answer isn’t found in the rushing? What if it’s waiting in the stillness between your thoughts, in the space between your inhale and exhale?

Sometimes we have to get quiet enough to hear what we already know. Breathe, you’re exactly where you need to be ~🍃