Young, can't go to college and unemployed

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I’m an 18 y/o, Chinese, post secondary school graduate living somewhere in Southeast Asia. As Chinese, u may think I’m smart, I should have a clear path for my future by now.

But unfortunately, my future is very bleak, and I’m feeling suicidally depressed and cynical.

During my school years, I didn’t do well with all of my exams because I was studying at a crappy school with bad teachers and didn’t pay attention to anything, even at private tuition I never focus anything at all.

If only I could beat myself up for being so lazy at the time and be studying and hard work, I would’ve already have enough credit to enter college. Now I can’t, even if I go to one that doesn’t have those requirements, my family don’t have enough money to send me to one anyway.

Try finding a job ? Well I applied to several jobs such as a stationary shop, and another tuition to be an office assistant. My mom even asked her hairdresser to call her son if he could hire me to work at his place, unfortunately nothing came from them. Never tried to find one since because I heard there are requirements to get hired, which I don’t have.

Now I’m just stuck at home, feeling bleak and suicidally depressed because I wasted my potential for my future. I wish I could have therapy for this but my parents refused because they would have to pay for therapy bills which they wouldn’t prefer since we’re not rich.

I just don’t know what to do now, I wanted to pull the plug but I can’t. Still wanted to live but I’m completely lost on where I should go.

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hey @Lee1 I get what you feel especially cause you’ve completed your school life and now regret that you could have done better. There’s nothing wrong feeling this way and I’m glad you have tried ways to find a job. Please do not go into the state of depression or cynical but I would insist that you rather apply for a tuition fee loan at the bank? In that way you could join college and put in your full effort and there would be chances to get scholarship for your next few years!! Stay positive and hope this helps!

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Hi @Lee1,

It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time, and it’s really brave of you to reach out and share your feelings. It’s clear that you are feeling lost and uncertain about the future, and it is clear that it is tough when it feels like things aren’t going as planned.

You mentioned that you feel like you wasted your potential and you’re unable to change anything now. You also expressed that you feel like your family isn’t supportive, especially in seeking therapy because of financial concerns. It sounds like you are carrying a lot of burden on your own, feeling like you can’t reach out for help. It seems like you’re carrying a heavy weight of regret and frustration, and I hear you. But I also see a person who wants to move forward, who is looking for answers. You are not alone in feeling lost at times—many people also struggle with uncertainty about their future. It’s really important to acknowledge that things can and do change. Even if you can’t see it right now, small steps can bring big change.

The fact that you’re reaching out for support shows that you have resilience. It takes courage to express how you’re feeling, and your desire to change shows that you care about your future. That is a strength, and it’s something to build on. It’s important to remember that there’s no timeline for how things should look. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now.

I want you to know that you are surrounded by help; there are many others willing to help you. Here are some options

Generalised
IMH
IMH’s mental health hotline for those facing mental health crisis.
6389 2222

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS)
SOS operates a 24-hour hotline to provide emotional support for those in facing crisis or suicide risk
1800 221 4444

Youth
CHAT
The Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT) provides confidential mental health checks for young persons between 16 and 30 years old, who are currently living in Singapore. They operate CHAT hub, a mental health centre located at *SCAPE and maintains an online presence through their website and webchat.
6493 6500
6493 6501
https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/

Fei Yue Community Services- EC2
LIVE CHAT eC2 is an online facility offering free counselling to youths.

TOUCH Community Services – TOUCHline
Emotional support and practical advice are rendered through this youth helpline
1800 377 2252

Mandarin Speaking,

Care Corner
Hotline for the Mandarin–speaking community facing mental health problems or distressing family situations
1800 353 5800

What I would encourage you to do is take things one step at a time. Would it be possible if you can start by seeking some local community resources that offer mental health support. I can understand the difficulty with finances, but there free or low-cost resources available (see list). It’s okay to start small. Would it possible for you to think of a first step that feels achievable for you, even if it’s just acknowledging your feelings and taking a break from self-criticism for a moment? Can you give me your word to commit to this?

I truly believe that the way you’re feeling right now isn’t the final chapter. You are at a crossroads, but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There is still so much possibility in front of you, and even small actions can make a huge difference in how you move forward. It’s okay to ask for help, and I hope you’ll find the support you need to keep going. You deserve to feel hopeful, and we are here to support you in any way we can.

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Hello @Lee1 ! It’s okay, the past of not doing well is the past! There are many whom didn’t do well for their exams are also out there doing really well in life. Simply said, not everything are based on results :slight_smile:. Job market is really bad right now, and it isn’t your fault. Just mass apply to everything or everywhere and wait for the news :smiley:

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Hi, thanks for your words and for giving me the helplines. But the issue is I’m afraid my mom might found out if I use one of these, I rly want to contact one of those helplines but issue is I’m a Malaysian, not a Singaporean so not sure if it could suit me.

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Hey Lee1

I hear your concerns, what’s important is for you to get help. Are you able to get help? if you are in Singapore, regardless of your nationality, you should be able to receive guidance via phone calls.

I am unsure about your concerns in letting your mum find out, do you mind telling us more? I would think that gour mum would care enough for you to seek help for you too, would you agree?

Else is there an adult or school counsellor that you can reach out to?

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No I’m not in Singapore. And I probably would agree, if my parents aren’t that dismissive. And no, I’ve already graduated from school months ago.

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Hey @Lee1 ,

There are many online counselling sites that you can reach out to. I am not familiar with non-profit ones in Malaysia, though. If you like, here is one for your consideration. https://safespace.sg/

Have a look and take your time to find a therapist that would work well with you.

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Sorry, the website specifically said I need to pay for an appointment, and unfortunately I don’t have any money in my e wallet :frowning:

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Don’t feel bad. The harsh reality is that, whether you are Malaysian or singaporean, you’ll face this problem as long as you are in Asia.:pensive_face:

But don’t worry! We’ve got u covered!

I had a friend who completely flunked her o levels but still got into poly. So, don’t lose hope. If you are keen in studying, look out for opportunities. Attend career fairs, further education expos and get started on LinkedIn.

No paid promotion :face_with_hand_over_mouth: but LinkedIn is a better form of social media than the more common ones. You get to build a network with industry people, explore job and study opportunities and get some motivation in life. Honestly, everyday I see legit people sharing their struggles and how they overcame them. Sometimes, the comments may feel too cheesy, but you know at least it won’t hurt your morale any further.

Not being too cliché, but if not for let’s talk and LinkedIn, I would not have come this far…

Honestly, my grades weren’t the best when I was your age. Trust me, sometimes you are just not the problem. You are actively seeking to improve your situation, and that’s good enough.

Don’t worry, you’ve got this!

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Hi @Lee1 ,

We found this… MMHA | Find Help
Would you like to take a look and see if it helps you?