Idk what im doing anymore…help

hi

recently i’ve just been feeling really sian about life and for a while i found no interest in doing anything, even things i normally enjoy. now it’s better but studies wise i still can’t find interest or motivation to do anything. had full day tuition intensives 3 days ago, ytd and today (literally typing this in a zoom lesson cos i can’t concentrate) and idk what i find it so hard to pay attention for more than 5 minutes.

on zoom lessons ill pay attention for like 5min then pick up my phone and next thing i know ive missed everything the teacher said for the past few minutes/hours.

is it just me or are many others like this? i feel horrible because i was the one that told my parents i wanted to go for this intensive class and they paid a lot of money for it but im barely paying attention and its making me feel horrible that im wasting their money.

it was worse ytd because i went for class onsite and everyone was paying attention (most of them) and i just couldn’t and felt really distracted and disconnected. i have prelims part 2 next week and A lvls in a couple months and it’s unbelievably overwhelming yet i cant find the motivation to study.

any other students feeling the same way?

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Hello manda1,

I hear that you have not been feeling great lately… It seems that your lack of motivation is stopping you from making progress on your national examination preparation. Perhaps your persistent sense of overwhelm is hampering you such that you are zapped of energy, as you are painfully aware that you need to stay focused but feel like you cannot. I am sorry that you are going through an especially stressful and taxing time, what with these issues combined with a sense of guilt towards your parents for being unable to make the most out of your recent intensive classes.

It can be discouraging to have to deal with so much at once without having the motivation and energy to do so. In this case, I believe that taking things one day at a time and making progress, however small, can help to boost your mood. I note that you are troubled by your lack of focus. It may be worthwhile for you to look into the underlying reasons for this, and these questions may come in handy:

  • Is the content of your study material too difficult?
  • Is the source of your distraction (e.g. phone) urgent in nature?
  • Is it the case that the source of your distraction is too engaging, or that your study material is not engaging enough?
    (Do note the difference here – a similar comparison is using your phone because you genuinely enjoy using certain apps, versus not having any other source of entertainment.)
  • Is a pervasive sense of overwhelm (i.e. constantly thinking that “I’m not going to succeed”) distracting you from staying focused, such that you lose motivation and/or are driven to self-sabotaging actions like procrastination?

These questions point to potential reasons, each of which require different solutions. Being able to pinpoint what exactly is contributing to your difficulty in staying focused can offer you clearer direction in your next steps and perhaps alleviate some of your stress. In the long term, the progress which you have made one day at a time can boost your motivation as you feel better equipped to handle your tasks.

Wishing you good health and better days ahead!

hii thanks for sharing, I totally understand how you feel and how frustrating it is because i also struggle with a lack of motivation from time to time. I usually start losing motivation around the time where exams are coming or when there are several assignments due soon. I’ve thought about it and i think its because I’ve been so stressed out about studying and completing my assigments
which made me feel so overwhelmed about the workload, which then made me lose the motivation to do any work at all. Like, it just seemed impossible to complete all that work and i think i was procrastinating because i wanted to push that frustrating and overwhelming feeling away, but then it just creates a vicious cycle : ( maybe this could explain why you feel a lack of motivation too?

I still struggle with this lack of motivation, and i know a lot of my classmates do too. I think its totally understandable because coping with school and studying is NOT easy at all.

I recommend doing self-care activities! It seems like your quite busy preparing for your prelims and A levels, so i recommend short self-care activities like taking a walk, eating yummy foods/snacks, having a quick nap, or taking an extra long shower. These are some activities that worked for me cuz it helped clear my mind temporarily from all the stress, and i find it a bit easier to do my work because I’m more calm and collected.

Another recommendation is to talk to your friends. or ranting : D. i usually sit with my friends and we would just complain about all the work and stress we’re having, and it actually feels kinda good afterwards because it feels like i got rid of some stress just by talking about it.

Hope these suggestions can help with your motivation, and good luck for your prelims and A levels!

Hey @manda1 , fellow student here too :wave: I feel the same as you sometimes, regretting ever enrolled or having no motivation to study even with everything piling up. I think it’s important to retrack your steps and revisit why you decided to begin the intensive classes in the first place. Was it the motivation intrinsic and internal (because you want to be the best version of yourself, because you enjoy the material and want to learn more) or driven by external forces (wanting parents’/teachers’ acknowledgement)? Maybe realising why you started would help in motivating you to continue.

Regardless, whenever I feel the burnout, here are some things I do that you can try, if it resonates with you:

  1. Reward yourself intentionally and without guilt. Celebrate the little wins, like finishing a deck of slides, or going through one topic.
  2. Cultivate habits. Add little pockets of study time before/after your already-established daily routines. Even something as little as going through 5 pages before brushing your teeth goes a long way.
  3. Rest, once again, intentionally and without guilt. Even robots need maintenance and time to reoil their gears, to regain their pristine working condition. Your body has given you so much. You are so capable. You’re trying your best. Please don’t blame yourself for needing some rest.
  4. When you’re ready, remember why you started. Relook at your ambitions, your dreams, your future plans. Is what you’re doing now getting you closer to your goals?

Hello @manda1 :wave:t2:! Thank you for sharing how you feel.

It feels like you’re going through a burnout especially with A levels coming up (all the tuition, extra homework, etc.). I can completely understand how it feels to be that stressed and feel like you’re wasting your parents’ money for being unable to focus during those extra classes that you requested. It is nice of you to think about your parents but at the same time, do consider your well-being too. I can see that you’re trying your best to focus thus, don’t blame yourself for not being able to :heart_hands:!

I could share with you some of the strategies I used myself to overcome these burnouts or stress. I understand we have a lot to do but sometimes we need a good break for us to recharge. Sometimes I would take an hour or more break to do something I like and enjoy to recharge before continuing my work again. Apart from that, I would also give myself some time to meet my friends to unwind. Yes, you might feel guilty for going out, etc. but we need a break from things as well.

Apart from these, how I focus during my study session would be to use an app “Forest” to deter myself from using my phone (DISCLAIMER: it requires some kind of determination to grow that plant but I normally set an hour and have a +/-15mins break).

All the best and it will be over sooner than you realise :muscle:t2:

Felt that way as a student, still feel this way as a working adult.

hii , yes i thought it was only me i didnt expect any1 elde to feel this way , youre not alone dw :people_hugging:

ive bewn feeeling really lost these days ( years) too , like REALLY lost
sometimes i wonder how i ever survived the past two years cuz i was in a really bad state

but anyways , i foujd that actually having no purpose in life may be the problem

do you feel this way?

loved to dress up in the past - not anymore

loved hanging out w/ ppl - now its draining

feeling so loved - now so alone

falling behind in everyth - cca amd so

cuz same.

im not sure if its bcuz of social media validatinf our sadness amd jist amplifying it but if pissible try to put down your phone , amd go outside and experience life , the way u want it .

can be hard i know but in your case maybe stop for awhile(take breaks literally do sth else etc eat/play games /watch smth) before studying? amd be clear of what you want

jiayouz we"ll get thru this