Hi, I am a 15 year old female and this year is one of the most important year for me, but I feel like I kinda have ADHD yet I don’t think I have it either, it’s really conflicting. A little bit of context: When I was 12, my bio mum took me to test for ADHD and the test came back positive however, I have the inattentive version and the doctor says that I will outgrow it, however, my bio dad and stepmom refuse to accept it because when I was both 13 and 14, I got awards for school. However, this year… I’m starting to feel the burnout effects. I’m either easily distracted or focus for long hours and feel the energy draining effects, is very impatient, I’m scared to ask for help when my idenity is known, have super dramtic mood swings all the time, and very implusive. I tend to meltdown (Get upset, cry, and just continuously scratch my wrist) when under too much pressure yet I crave the pressure when it’s not there which leads me to signing for more things than I can handle, I give up easily when things don’t go my way, is too boring or too complex, I’m cannot sit still for long periods of time and just listen (especially in class), not to mention I have a constant need to be on the move. I also tend to forget things easily and lose my belongings. So I think I have it but I don’t too… can somone please tell me if I do and how to cope with it?
Hi @annoynimous,
It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of pressure, not only from the expectations others have of you but also from the internal struggle to understand what’s going on with you. It’s completely valid to feel conflicted about whether you have ADHD or not, especially when others are uncertain or dismissive of your challenges. It’s also hard to deal with the burnout and exhaustion when you’re trying to meet so many demands, whether in school or from others.
Your experiences—mood swings, impulsivity, distractions, forgetfulness, and frustration—are really important signals your body and mind are giving you. It’s clear you’re navigating a lot, and it’s perfectly normal to feel stuck or unsure when things don’t seem to make sense.
Your sharing suggests that you’re managing a significant amount of emotional energy and cognitive overload, leading to a persistent sense of anxiety. The ups and downs, not just in your mood but in how you feel about your tasks, are exhausting. You’re trying hard to be productive, but you feel like there’s something blocking you, making you second-guess yourself. That frustration, combined with feeling misunderstood, must feel so heavy. You’re not just battling the demands of school or life; you’re also dealing with inner conflict about your worth and how others perceive you.
You mentioned feeling burnout and exhaustion, yet there’s an impulse to keep going even when things don’t go the way you expect. Let’s try to sit with that for a moment: When do you notice yourself pushing past your limits, even though you’re already feeling overwhelmed? What happens when you take a pause instead?
I also hear you say that you want to feel “good enough” and to stop questioning your abilities. What would “being good enough” feel like for you? How do you define success or progress in your own terms, not in others’ expectations?
You’ve shown a lot of strength by reaching out and reflecting on these feelings. Your ability to identify moments of overwhelm and situations that challenge you indicates a growing self-awareness. These are important first steps.
It might be helpful to start identifying small ways you can break up tasks into more manageable parts so it’s not all or nothing. Have you considered using simple tools to track tasks or reward yourself after completing each step? This could help with the feelings of being overwhelmed.
While things may seem very tough right now, know that you’re doing your best, and it’s okay to take breaks and be kind to yourself. Your self-awareness is a huge strength, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. You have the ability to navigate through these tough times and find ways to feel more grounded, one small step at a time.
In therapy, we can explore more about your self-worth and self-compassion, not through the lens of what others expect of you, but based on your own values. What do you need to feel proud of yourself, even on days when you don’t accomplish everything? It’s possible to build a life where you’re not just surviving but thriving in your own unique way.
You’re already reaching out for help, and that’s a huge strength. Please be gentle with yourself. The fact that you’ve identified where you’re struggling is a powerful start. This is a journey, and it’s acceptable to progress incrementally, accompanied by support. You deserve to feel better.
Sounds like your brain swings between extremes - either hyperfocused or totally drained. That’s exhausting, and it makes sense that you’re feeling burnt out. Whether it’s ADHD or not, what matters is finding what actually helps.
Can you try breaking tasks into smaller chunks so they feel less overwhelming? If sitting still is hard, can you take notes differently, use a fidget cube (or something similar), or move around while studying? And with meltdowns, what helps you reset before it gets too much?
Pressure can be motivating, but overloading yourself isn’t sustainable. What’s one small change you can try to make to balance things out?