hello, I guess I’ll just get right into it. so basically I feel like I might have adhd or some other underlying condition, but when I brought it up with my mom and asked if I could get tested she basically said she doesn’t think I have it because she didn’t see any signs of it while I was a child.
For context, when I was a kid I did pretty decent in school, and I still do, but I couldn’t focus as well as other kids in my class. I was the kid who never did their homework, and didn’t study until a few days or even the day before exams. And this was from P1 all the way till sec 4. At the time I attributed this to me being tired from having tuition every day but in hindsight, it might have been a sign?
Then when I got into poly I went through 2 years of being the first person to finish their homework, but then recently, I have trouble finding any motivation in me to study. And I’m upset with myself because I feel I am disappointing everyone because I was the student who was top of the class but now I’m the one who barely work on the group project till the week of submission. I’ll still make sure I do it, because I’d feel extremely guilty if I didn’t, but it’s just really hard. And I feel really guilty about not starting earlier too, but I also can’t find it in me to start earlier. And when I do do it, I feel like I need a break after writing just one paragraph. I don’t know if it’s just burn out of if it’s something deeper.
Another thing is even though I don’t like sports, I’m also someone who can’t sit still. I’m always squirming in my chair or changing my sitting position, while I’m watching movies, doing my work or sometimes even while I’m eating dinner.
Then I don’t know if this is true, but I saw on Instagram a couple times that people with adhd tend to fear rejection more than others? Again, I don’t know if that’s true but I think I probably do feel rejected more than the average person. And when it happens, I really really feel it and it’s the worst feeling in the world. I feel like I’ve gone through a period of time for almost every close friend I’ve had where I thought they hated me, though most of the time it turned out untrue.
So yeah…that’s me. Is this something I should get checked out?
hey there, thanks for sharing all of that so honestly.
from the way you described things, it sounds like you’ve been carrying this confusion for quite a while—and honestly, that’s not easy. you’ve done really well to reflect on your past and notice the patterns. that already takes a lot of insight and strength.
i just want to say… it’s actually really common for people with ADHD—especially those who were high achievers when young—to fly under the radar. people around us might not have seen the signs because we were “doing okay.” but doing okay doesn’t mean we weren’t struggling inside.
you’re not lazy. not broken. the struggle to focus, the constant moving, the guilt and emotional overwhelm—these are valid experiences. and yeah, that thing you saw about rejection hurting more? that can be true for some people with ADHD or emotional sensitivity. it’s not you being “too much”—it’s your brain trying to protect you, even if it feels overwhelming sometimes.
i’d gently encourage you to explore a proper assessment—not because you need a label, but because you deserve support that fits you. and even if it turns out to be burnout or something else, you’re still allowed to ask for help. what you’re going through is real.
you’re not alone, okay? and you deserve to feel seen—not just for what you achieve, but for who you are.
feel free to share more if you’d like. we’re here to listen.
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Hey @olafthesnowman you are so articulate in describing your feelings and experiences. Thanks for sharing with such an open heart. Everything that you’ve been experiencing is very real to you and deeply appreciate your willingness to identify and get the right kind of help.
With so much awareness on ADHD, you might consider an assessment which would help you to get the right kind of professional support. It is indeed quite common for people with ADHD to mask inner struggles and focus on overachieving, trying to please/not disappoint others. You are not alone.
While you consider getting an assessment or not, If studying doesn’t motivate you much at the moment, sometimes it might help to identify and plan your days in a way you could do things that does motivate you for a brief period and come back to studying whenever you feel more ready. If I may ask what is that you would love and enjoy doing?
Rejection does feel very hard and it is not easy getting through rejection. Sometimes our feelings make us think that’s who we are really and try very hard to get us to believe that. But it might help to separate ourselves from them and just observe them with curiosity rather than looking through them. That would help shift some of our beliefs about us.
This community is always open to listening. Take care.
Hello, thank you for sharing. I understand that you are currently feeling stressed and confused, and your feelings are valid. Perhaps you can also seek verified assessments to confirm it, as Instagram posts may not be created by professionals. You can also take a breather from work as you deserve the break as well. Rooting for you OP 