Fear and seeking help

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
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I recently felt nervous when I am eating out with my colleagues and have the tendcy to feel neasous… it has been a few weeks already but it does not seem to get better…

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Hi @Bel do you feel nervous when you are with the same people at work or only when you are having meals with them?

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Hi @Bel

Thank you for sharing your worries here on this platform. I want to affirm your feelings of fear and worry, they are completely valid – and I acknowledge how confusing and nerve-wracking it might be for you too. I’m truly sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing feelings of nervousness and nausea when eating out with your colleagues. It’s completely natural to have these kinds of reactions, and I’m here to help you work through this.
Perhaps you can start off by thinking about these few questions:

  1. What are your triggers for the nerves? Try to pinpoint the exact circumstances or settings in which you feel most nervous about eating in front of others. Is it primarily with colleagues, friends, family, or in formal dining situations?
  2. What are some of the physical symptoms besides nausea? Pay attention to the physical symptoms you encounter when you feel nervous. Do you notice a racing heart, sweaty palms, upset stomach, or shallow breathing? It’ll be good to write them down first so you can learn to manage these symptoms later on.
  3. What kind of thoughts enter your mind when you start to feel nauseas and nervous? It might be good to explore the thoughts and beliefs that accompany your nervousness. Are you worried about being judged, making a mistake, or experiencing embarrassment?
    Sometimes when we take time to process internally about how we feel, we might actually find some triggers or points to work on.

In the meantime, I would also like to explore with you some strategies that may help you in managing these feelings:

  1. Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques: Try to practice deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques into your daily routine. When you feel nervous or nauseous, take a moment to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times, allowing yourself to gradually relax. This can help reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety and create a sense of calm. You can also try this activity to help you practice: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

  2. Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts: I encourage you to pay attention to the thoughts that arise when you anticipate eating out with your colleagues. Are there specific concerns or worries that come to mind? Try to challenge these negative thoughts by asking yourself if they are based on evidence or if they are assumptions. By identifying and challenging these thoughts, you can begin to reframe them in a more realistic and positive way. Here’s another short activity you can try to reframe your perspective: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

  3. Gradual Exposure and Desensitization: Another thing you can try is gradually exposing yourself to eating out situations with your colleagues. Start with smaller, less intimidating gatherings and work your way up to larger ones. This approach, known as desensitization, can help you become more comfortable over time. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem :blush:

Last but not least, I would also encourage you to speak to a mental health professional or a counsellor who can help you to dig deeper into your thoughts and feelings of nervousness, and can provide helpful strategies and tools to empower you further.

Please do remember that you don’t have to go through this alone, and it’s okay to seek help when needed. We’re here to help you and support you on this platform. Please take care and keep us updated! :blush:

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Hi yoshi, i only feel nervous when having meal with them.

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Hi cottonsoul,

Thanks for the encouragement. I only feel nervous when i am eating out with my colleagues and beside nauseous i also feel my heart is racing and difficulty in swallowing my food. When i feel my food could not swallow down i will feel vomitting and afraid embrassement in front of my colleagues…

I have also booked a appointment to meet up with a counseller for the first time.

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I think this is extremely helpful :smiling_face: can consider slowing down and being more mindful of your thoughts.

Are you self-conscious of your image while you eat or are you anxious about the conversations that you have to partake in?

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This is great @Bel that you have taken the first step to seek help :heart: Thanks for sharing your experience here with the mindline community and giving others the courage to seek help as well. All the best with your first session - keep us updated on your journey if you are keen!

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