Feel tired even after doing nothing

[kc311]

M
I hate dumping my emotions on others cause I dislike being on the receiving end, but I feel like I am slowly losing grip on everything.

Since for as long as I can remember, I feel like I’ve been just drifting in life and barely scraping by academically, which was how I managed to secure a spot in university in a relatively safe course. However, after enlisting in 2019, life has just been going on for me day-by-day. The period between 2019 and now has felt like such a short time despite this being such an important stage of my life as a university student. My grades have been slipping and I’ve had to retake mods multiple times. At first I was still attending school and going for classes, but now I just running away by skipping. I have not much motivation and interest in whatever I’m studying, so it just feels like a mix of guilt and emptiness just going by my life.

A relative of mine recently commented that I have imposter syndrome, but I couldn’t really agree as I just constantly feel worn out and instead of overpreparing as described in its symptoms, I just don’t put in the work. Rather, I can’t sit down and focus on the contents I’m supposed to study. This lack of motivation and drive has been status quo since I started university and now I am at risk of dropping out.

Waking up everyday has been a challenge and honestly there have been bad days where I’ve seriously considered ending it. Doing things that I considered enjoyable really don’t feel as enjoyable anymore and nothing that I do gives me fulfilment. Seeing my close friend group excelling academically or at work gives me mixed feelings of happiness and envy, where I wish I could do as well as they do.

I can’t even imagine how things will be for me in the future needing to find a 9-5 job IF I can even proceed on and get my degree. I have nothing I want to do and this bleak thoughts are eating at me everyday.

Despite everything, I don’t want to be stuck in this loop anymore. Even if my actions so far have suggested otherwise. I don’t want to wake up everyday feeling worn out and drained, and I want to live life as a normal person, just really feels like I can’t do these easy things.

Thank you for reading this far and I would really appreciate if you have any advice for me.

[Jaws]

@kc311

Waking up everyday has been a challenge and honestly there have been bad days where I’ve seriously considered ending it.

I really urge you to reach out to a mental health professional or SOS when you have these bad days. Your life is precious, and there are people and resources available to support you through this difficult time.

What you’re describing sounds like a tough situation, and it’s clear that you’re dealing with a lot. Feeling adrift and struggling academically can be incredibly challenging, especially when it seems like others around you are excelling.

@kc311

Despite everything, I don’t want to be stuck in this loop anymore. Even if my actions so far have suggested otherwise.

I think the fact that you have posted here is a positive step that you don’t want to be stuck in this loop anymore. Maybe you could try breaking things down into smaller, manageable steps. Take it one mod at a time and make sure you give your best for each mod. If studying for an entire exam is too hard, try studying just 1 chapter and rewarding yourself after that. It’ll help in reinforcing the habit to study. Some of these resources might help: Exam Stress - School & Work. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself about what the future holds. It’s normal to feel uncertain at this stage in life. Sometimes, just taking one step at a time can lead you to unexpected opportunities and interests.

I appreciate you sharing what you’re going through. It’s okay to feel hesitant about expressing your emotions, but remember that you’re not “dumping” them on others. Sharing your feelings is a healthy way to process what’s going on inside.

[cottonsoul]

Hi @kc311,

I’m really grateful that you’ve reached out and shared your feelings and thoughts honestly here on this platform. I commend you for this step, it takes a lot of courage to express what you’re going through and I want to affirm you that we are here to support you.

Sometimes, feeling like you’re losing a grip on your life and struggling with motivation can be incredibly overwhelming. It is normal to have doubts and difficulties in your university years, and I want to encourage you that you’re not alone in this journey.

I would like to assure you that there is help available to support you through this season. Here are some suggestions that you can try:

• Reach out to mental health professionals for help as they can provide you with emotional support, by exploring your feelings and processing them together with you. They can also provide specific strategies and help to cope with your challenges, and also work on regaining your motivation again.
• Take small steps! It’s okay to start small. You can try breaking down your academic tasks into smaller, manageable steps. From there, you can celebrate even the tiniest achievements! This can help you build a sense of accomplishment. You can also try this activity: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
• Practicing self-care can help you recharge, such as exercise, mindfulness, and getting enough sleep. For example, Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

Last but not least, I’m proud of you for being willing to seek help! Your desire for positive change is a huge first step, and you’re working towards a better future for yourself. Please remember that you can always reach out to a mental health professional or counsellor for extra support in this challenging season.

All the best, and please take care!