Have you ever woken up and just stared at the ceiling, questioning life? I feel like I’m wasting my life away at my current job but at the same time, hearing stories of unemployment makes me anxious. I took a year after poly to “discover” myself and ended up using my diploma to get my current job. I wouldn’t say I hate it because it’s an office hour job and I truly enjoy the company here. It has been 2 years since then and I’m still unsure of what I want to pursue in life. I actually applied to uni this year and eventhough I received offers, I eventually turned them down due to the fear of failing and also finances(?).. what a joke right haha but I’d rather my spot be taken by someone who deserves it than me, who is so unsure of what they want to do… I’ve talked to so many people and got so many perspectives and I think I was just waiting for someone to push me towards a direction so that I could say “it wasn’t my fault” if I failed. Not sure if that makes sense haha but it sucks to see your peers having fun in school and going for exchange while you’re wasting your youth away stressing on what to do with your life. Sometimes I envy those who dare to wing it and do what they want, but that, too, takes direction, I feel? When I was younger, I thought life would be like My Little Pony or maybe I wished it was. Everyone has their role and whatever mark you get, you’ll excel in it. HAHAHA Anyways I know my next step is to put myself out there and try new things but I’m not sure where to start. Perhaps I’ll start by looking for shadowing opportunities. One more year and maybe I’ll put my butt back in school HAHAHAHA I’m reaching the quarter life age and it’s honestly nerve-wracking. No partner, no degree, no plans. Maybe that’s a good thing. No commitments.