i happened to come across this website while searching about the phobia, i hope that maybe someone with a similar experience as me could help me identify if this is truly a phobia,
this will most likely be quite lengthy, i’ll try my best to cut down
i’ve been dealing with the symptoms of this phobia since 2022, but i think i’ve had it for longer, just that i wasn’t conscious of it. i say this because in 2019, i was at the sick bay at school and felt that it was going to happen, but i didn’t let out. i fought back really hard, and in the end it didn’t happen. idrk why i did that when letting it out would’ve made me feel better, which is why i presume that i had it earlier than i realize. i have had some really horrible experiences when i was younger, so maybe that contributed to it as well.
i’m a bit weird in the sense that i can’t even bring myself to type, hear or say the actual word, and resort to using its synonym regurgitate. this is the only form of the word i can tolerate as the rest bring about horrible scenarios and thoughts. i also hate seeing the emoji… i’ve tried to get used to it but i just can’t.
i’ve made a lot of changes to my lifestyle, such as eating more ‘safe foods’ and less meat, constantly washing my hands, never eating expired food products etc, and i always make sure to steer clear of sick people, people who bend over, drunk people and children and babies. i’m always planning escape routes so that if something goes wrong, i’ll be the first to run out.
as for the anxiety i get, i personally feel its not so bad, since i really only get panic attacks when i have this sense of impending doom, like i can FEEL it about to happen. there was an occasion where my mother regurgitated while overseas and even before it happened i saw her bend over and i instantly bolted away. i started hyperventilating and crying, and was so stressed that i screamed at my mother to stay away from me, even after she was cleaned up.
on another occasion, i was also overseas, and i had to take a boat. only when i was on the dock did the panic start to really set in, and i was struggling badly, the thoughts and scenarios were playing rapidly in my head and i felt something rise (not sure if its a psychological thing or smtn was actl in my throat). then after i told my family i had to get off NOW, i started crying and hyperventilating. even after i got off, i couldn’t compose myself and it only got worse when i looked up to see a boat at the dock rocking quite hard. i was eventually able to escape taking the boat (thank goodness)
scenarios of myself or other people regurgitating always play out in my head, i get these thoughts everyday without fail. when i’m outside minding my own business, suddenly an unwanted scenario of it happening pops into my head, and i try to take my mind off it but i end up feeling terrible. why does this happen?? and right before i sleep, often times it pops into my head as well, and i have to open my eyes, take a deep breath and try to sleep again. on the off chance, it makes me feel worried and nauseous and i have to sit up and walk around before trying to sleep again.
so sorry for the long read but this is my experience for the most part, any advice/experience is welcomed!! i just want to know if this is a valid experience for the most part :’)
thank you for reading!!