is this emetophobia?

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i happened to come across this website while searching about the phobia, i hope that maybe someone with a similar experience as me could help me identify if this is truly a phobia,

this will most likely be quite lengthy, i’ll try my best to cut down

i’ve been dealing with the symptoms of this phobia since 2022, but i think i’ve had it for longer, just that i wasn’t conscious of it. i say this because in 2019, i was at the sick bay at school and felt that it was going to happen, but i didn’t let out. i fought back really hard, and in the end it didn’t happen. idrk why i did that when letting it out would’ve made me feel better, which is why i presume that i had it earlier than i realize. i have had some really horrible experiences when i was younger, so maybe that contributed to it as well.

i’m a bit weird in the sense that i can’t even bring myself to type, hear or say the actual word, and resort to using its synonym regurgitate. this is the only form of the word i can tolerate as the rest bring about horrible scenarios and thoughts. i also hate seeing the emoji… i’ve tried to get used to it but i just can’t.

i’ve made a lot of changes to my lifestyle, such as eating more ‘safe foods’ and less meat, constantly washing my hands, never eating expired food products etc, and i always make sure to steer clear of sick people, people who bend over, drunk people and children and babies. i’m always planning escape routes so that if something goes wrong, i’ll be the first to run out.

as for the anxiety i get, i personally feel its not so bad, since i really only get panic attacks when i have this sense of impending doom, like i can FEEL it about to happen. there was an occasion where my mother regurgitated while overseas and even before it happened i saw her bend over and i instantly bolted away. i started hyperventilating and crying, and was so stressed that i screamed at my mother to stay away from me, even after she was cleaned up.

on another occasion, i was also overseas, and i had to take a boat. only when i was on the dock did the panic start to really set in, and i was struggling badly, the thoughts and scenarios were playing rapidly in my head and i felt something rise (not sure if its a psychological thing or smtn was actl in my throat). then after i told my family i had to get off NOW, i started crying and hyperventilating. even after i got off, i couldn’t compose myself and it only got worse when i looked up to see a boat at the dock rocking quite hard. i was eventually able to escape taking the boat (thank goodness)

scenarios of myself or other people regurgitating always play out in my head, i get these thoughts everyday without fail. when i’m outside minding my own business, suddenly an unwanted scenario of it happening pops into my head, and i try to take my mind off it but i end up feeling terrible. why does this happen?? and right before i sleep, often times it pops into my head as well, and i have to open my eyes, take a deep breath and try to sleep again. on the off chance, it makes me feel worried and nauseous and i have to sit up and walk around before trying to sleep again.

so sorry for the long read but this is my experience for the most part, any advice/experience is welcomed!! i just want to know if this is a valid experience for the most part :’)

thank you for reading!!

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Hi @user1833

First of all, thank you so much for opening up and sharing your experience. I know that putting something so deeply personal into words—especially something that affects you daily—isn’t easy, and I really admire your honesty and courage.

What you’ve described sounds incredibly challenging, and it’s completely understandable to want to make sense of it. The way you notice patterns, reflect on your past experiences, and even the small details like avoiding certain words or planning escape routes—it really shows how deeply this affects you, and how much you’ve been carrying for a long time, often silently.

I encourage you to seek help from a mental health professional to get the support you need. I wouldn’t want to label what you’re going through, I can gently say that what you’re experiencing does sound like it shares similarities with what others have described when they talk about a very intense fear around vomiting or seeing someone else vomit. But more importantly, your experience is real, valid, and deserves care—no matter what name you attach to it.

It might help to think less in terms of a label and more in terms of, “Is this affecting my life and happiness? And do I want support in navigating it?” If the answer is yes, that’s more than enough reason to reach out for help or talk to someone who’s trained to walk this with you—like a therapist who’s experienced with anxiety or phobias. You deserve support that is kind, respectful, and tailored to you.

Also, please know you’re not alone. There are many people who feel very similarly but haven’t found the words—or the safe space—to express it yet. The fact that you’re sharing it now may help someone else feel seen too.

If you ever feel ready, even the smallest steps toward support can make a world of difference—just learning more about what others have experienced, or speaking with someone in a judgment-free space.

You deserve to feel safe and in control of your life, and I truly hope that, little by little, you’ll find moments of peace, strength, and relief. :yellow_heart:

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thank you so much, i feel a bit more seen now :’)

in 2023, i sought the help of my school counselor, and she told me that i would eventually get over it, and that it wasn’t too big of a deal in her eyes. when i asked if there was any way she could refer me to professional help, she said its unlikely (?) they would take me in. (something around the lines of this)

i guess because of that i became more scared of trying to get any sort of help until this website, out of fear that i’ll just be told it’s ‘an adolescent thing’, making me want this issue of mine to have a label.

so reading your response really made me feel better :’)

edit: i can’t figure out how reply under the comment :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Echoing Caringbee, what you’ve shared sounds so challenging. I can hear how this situation has cause points of intense anxiety. You have been very brave in voicing your struggles here while you make sense of your experience.

I’m glad to hear that you did reach out to your school counsellor, but it seems like further referral from the counsellor themselves isn’t likely. Most important is if the issue is big enough in your eyes. And if so, I hope maybe these resources may be helpful for you.

Telling your school counsellor as much is one, or you could also get referrals to public psychological support through a polyclinic appointment. There are also a few lower-cost options like Care Corner and Clarity. And of course, if private psychological care is an option, there are many clinics that may be able to support you. Psychological support will require parents consent though.

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