Hey, thank you for being so open about this
I really relate to a lot of what you’re saying.
I’ve also been trying to lose weight for the longest time—mainly due to personal preference. My BMI is technically in the normal range, but it’s nearing the higher end, and I think because my body is already at what’s considered optimal for me, it’s been really hard to lose more. I don’t particularly like dieting or exercise either, but I’ve honestly tried everything under the sun 
There was a time I dieted in a not-so-healthy way—like having an apple for breakfast, sweet potato for lunch, and only one full healthy meal at dinner. I’ve also tried running, home workouts, and various diet plans. But what I’ve heard (and kind of agree with now) is that the key is having a really strong reason for wanting to lose weight. Like, something that drives you, not just what others say.
It also helps to have a plan for the times you don’t follow through—like a backup mindset or action to keep yourself from spiraling or giving up. I’ve seen friends be super successful with this. One of mine was overweight and started running 4 times a week and going to the gym consistently, and it really worked for her. But honestly, I don’t think I can do that either, and that’s okay.
What’s helped me instead is just small, sustainable habits. Sleep is a big one—it affects hunger and cravings so much. And I try to drink lots of water because sometimes I confuse thirst with hunger. I’ve also found that green tea or coffee helps a bit with appetite. And cutting down on processed/fast food definitely makes me feel better overall.
But above all, I try to be kind to myself. If I’m exhausted or just not in the right headspace, I let myself rest. I think it’s okay to pause and pick things up again when you’re ready. Right now I’m just eating normally, trying to be generally healthy, and listening to what my body needs.
I really hope you take care of yourself through this process. Focus on what feels right for you, and if things start to feel too overwhelming, it’s okay to pause and come back to it later. Take care of yourself first, and you can still work toward your goals at your own pace. You can also try looking up advice on YouTube, but make sure to find healthy, balanced tips and stick to what works for you. 