Should I do this?

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
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Asking for advice on losing weight: I’m currently almost overweight. Recently, I’ve been trying to eat healthily while losing weight, with a bit but not much progress.

My brother, who’s been on a long weightloss journey, has been convincing me to skip a meal and meal prep. However, I’ve been doubting it for a while, because I hate being hungry (I have a higher tendency to cry, feel sick, feel like vomiting, feel depressed) he tells me he feels it too but it’ll fade after a few more hours, which doesn’t sound very healrhy… I decided to try for the next week, but I already feel pretty sad about it because I love eating. I’ve searched the Internet multiple times, they give conflicting ideas.. probably because it differs from person to person. On the other hand, as a student, I don’t think I can afford going to a nutritionist or a dietician for prefessional advice. As this feels related to mental health, I sincerely ask for any advice you can offer about my situation🙏

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Ive tried everything but the best is to eat normally n go for cardio. Running or elliptical machine 1 hour 3 times a week. If u want to lose faster then do more than that but be aware of injuries. Always stretch well after cardio n rest one day for ur joints

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hey there! It sounds like you’re doing your best under challenging circumstances, remember to be kind to yourself too.

I used to struggle with frequent snacking to regulate my emotions so I gained a lot of weight, so I can understand your situation.

however, skipping meals is not healthy to do, what helped for me is to snack on healthier foods like nuts and fruits, as well as to make sure I’m eating balanced and nutritious meals.

since you’re a student, meal prep can certainly help out with making sure you’re getting a good balance of food and can be cost efficient so don’t be afraid to look up healthy meal prep ideas online!

exercise can also help with weight loss, if you’re busy with schoolwork, even taking the longer route home or walks through the park during study breaks can all contribute to helping you lose weight

you can do this! wishing you all the best in your weight loss journey!

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Dear @Sulis

Thank you for reaching out. I can feel how much you’re carrying—the desire to take care of your body, the pressure you’re feeling from those around you, the worry about doing it “right,” and the emotional weight that food and hunger bring for you. That’s a lot to hold, especially on your own. And I just want to say first: you’re doing your best, and that is more than enough.

You’re not weak or lacking willpower because you hate being hungry. Hunger isn’t just physical—it stirs up emotion, memory, and mood. If skipping meals makes you feel sick, sad, or disconnected from yourself, that’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that your body is speaking to you. And it deserves to be listened to with compassion.

You deserve a relationship with food that feels nourishing, not punishing. You deserve to eat without guilt. You deserve to feel full and emotionally okay. Loving food doesn’t make you lazy or undisciplined. It makes you human. And the fact that this is hard doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re trying, thoughtfully.

It’s okay that your brother’s method doesn’t feel right for you. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another, especially when we all have different emotional landscapes. It’s completely valid to question methods that make you feel emotionally unwell, even if others tell you “it’s normal.” Just because someone else can push through that discomfort doesn’t mean you have to. You’re allowed to protect your peace.

Please don’t feel like you need to earn your health by hurting yourself. Progress doesn’t have to come through suffering. There are kinder, more sustainable paths to feeling better in your body—paths that honour your mental health, your joy, your energy. You deserve to find those.

I would encourage you to explore some low cost community resources at the polyclinics. https://corp.nhg.com.sg/nhgwobd/Pages/cwmp.aspx

Please also know you’re not alone. So many people are trying to figure this out quietly, just like you are. And you reaching out? That’s already an act of strength and care. Continue taking small steps forward such as adopting one healthy habit at a time. :yellow_heart:

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:index_pointing_up: me too.

A couple years ago, I tried 16-8 intermittent fasting (+keto) and it worked quite well. Lost about 5kg and I managed to sustain for a year or so but after while I got lazy and my weight has been slowly creeping up. I’m hoping to go back to a healthier weight too but have been finding too many excuses for myself.

Actually your brother is right that the hunger will fade after a while. It comes in waves, you will feel hungry during certain periods but if you manage to wait it out (try distracting yourself with something else) then you’ll feel less hungry. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. Once you have a suitable routine for 2 weeks, it becomes a lot easier.

And I guess the best motivation is results. Once you start seeing results, you’ll be intrinsically motivated - just hang in there!

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i also wanna lose weightttt but ive been saying and not disciplining myself to stick to the lifestyle and diet required to lose weight oops
imo the science behind losing weight is simply calorie deficit with balanced nutritional intake. you can look for electronic weighing machines, like xiaomi smart weighing scale or inbody machines (can be found in some activesg gyms iirc but need to do the hw by googling online where they may be found haha), and take your body stats, look at your basal metabolism. that number will tell you how much cals you burn going about your normal day. whatever you eat that day is the cals intake.
to get calorie deficit: your (cals intake) - (basal metabolism) - (any additional cal burned through exercising) = negative value.
if you keep up with this for a period of time (like 3 months or more), your body will be losing fat and that is generally undeniable. Your weight may not visibly change due to varying factors like water weight and muscle gain maybe, but your body is definitely getting healthier.
so i think the best way to lose weight sustainably is to believe in the science behind losing weight, and adjusting your lifestyle in a way that is manageable in a way where your mental state is postive through the process so you can sustain it till you see the results in the long run and you can even maintain the results thereafter when you hit your goal weight :flexed_biceps:
like i mentioned earlier, im currently not losing weight cos i prioritise happy food thats high in calories and am not building up my calories burn everyday to make the calorie deficit heh but it is my choice to bear hahahha
ultimately we are all much more than a number on the weighing scale, what matters is our mentality going about every day and second of our lives. live happy and healthy, both mentally and physically and i believe that would be worth it :heart_hands:
jiayou working towards your goal!!! :wink:

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Hi @Sulis ,

I feel your struggles! Weight loss is incredibly challenging and it is important to find a method that works for you and supports your overall well-being. Your feelings about hunger and the impact it has on your mental health are completely valid.

It is great that you are trying to eat healthily. It is important to find a balance that does not make you feel miserable (so skipping meals might not be the best approach, especially when you know it will leave you with negative feelings and physical discomfort).

I am not a healthcare expert, so i am unable to provide you with professional or medical advice. I believe that we should not make a huge change to our current eating habits and daily routine (since our bodies are not used to it and so we will give up very easily). For a start, try incorporating/changing 1 habit - such as substituting a serving of baked nuts for a serving of potato chips.

Lastly, the link that CaringBee had provided do look promising! I truly wish you will find something that works for you! All the best to you! :slight_smile:

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Hey, thank you for being so open about this :folded_hands: I really relate to a lot of what you’re saying.

I’ve also been trying to lose weight for the longest time—mainly due to personal preference. My BMI is technically in the normal range, but it’s nearing the higher end, and I think because my body is already at what’s considered optimal for me, it’s been really hard to lose more. I don’t particularly like dieting or exercise either, but I’ve honestly tried everything under the sun :sweat_smile:

There was a time I dieted in a not-so-healthy way—like having an apple for breakfast, sweet potato for lunch, and only one full healthy meal at dinner. I’ve also tried running, home workouts, and various diet plans. But what I’ve heard (and kind of agree with now) is that the key is having a really strong reason for wanting to lose weight. Like, something that drives you, not just what others say.

It also helps to have a plan for the times you don’t follow through—like a backup mindset or action to keep yourself from spiraling or giving up. I’ve seen friends be super successful with this. One of mine was overweight and started running 4 times a week and going to the gym consistently, and it really worked for her. But honestly, I don’t think I can do that either, and that’s okay.

What’s helped me instead is just small, sustainable habits. Sleep is a big one—it affects hunger and cravings so much. And I try to drink lots of water because sometimes I confuse thirst with hunger. I’ve also found that green tea or coffee helps a bit with appetite. And cutting down on processed/fast food definitely makes me feel better overall.

But above all, I try to be kind to myself. If I’m exhausted or just not in the right headspace, I let myself rest. I think it’s okay to pause and pick things up again when you’re ready. Right now I’m just eating normally, trying to be generally healthy, and listening to what my body needs.

I really hope you take care of yourself through this process. Focus on what feels right for you, and if things start to feel too overwhelming, it’s okay to pause and come back to it later. Take care of yourself first, and you can still work toward your goals at your own pace. You can also try looking up advice on YouTube, but make sure to find healthy, balanced tips and stick to what works for you. :yellow_heart:

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hey @Sulis , whatever you said is really soooo relatable :smiling_face_with_tear: from my own experience, restricting cutting out sweets/unhealthy food and skipping meals only makes me crave these even more - and i totally get you because i love eating too!! the more i restrict, the more i fall into episodes of binge eating and then feeling really guilty afterwards… so while it may work for your brother, it may not be the best for you and that’s completely okay!!! its important to listen to your body, so if you’ve been feeling depressed and sick because of this we should focus on other ways to go about your weightloss journey!

eating lesser isn’t the only way to lose weight - exercising, be it going on walks/runs, playing sports with my friends or doing home workouts - all these are great ways to keep active and is good for your mental health too :))

losing weight isn’t an immediate process, so healthy eating habits and doing more activities could be better in the long run! be patient with yourself, you’re already doing so well asking for help and taking the first step! so proud of you, and i’m cheering you on!!! you’ve got this :heart:

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