I am currently 18 and I’ve lived in Malaysia my whole life though me and my family have Singaporean PR because of my dad’s work however we have not lived in singapore. I studied at MMU cyberjaya for 1 year taking a foundation course but had to leave after that to take NS. At that point in my life I considered renouncing my PR so I could continue to take my degree in MMU but I was feeling really bad about myself and my peers told me that working in Singapore is the best way to make money and that it would be stupid to renounce so I did not manage to make a decision on the matter. I am currently 7 weeks in serving NS , it stresses me out seeing all my close friends in Malaysia having fun in Uni and pursuing their dreams meanwhile I don’t know why I’m here or why I’m doing all of this, I felt extremely stressed and depressed being somewhere I’m not used to being in and pledging my life to a place I don’t yet care about. But at this point I’ve gotten used to it here and although I don’t like it I’ve considered enduring it so that I can mabye take the burden off my dad to afford my degree in malaysia by myself with my NS pay. I still can’t make a decision even after asking all of my peers and friends and family I still find myself fluctuating between wanting to leave and wanting to suck thumb and carry on being somewhere I don’t plan to live in in the future. I spoke to my OC about cancelling my PR and I signed a few papers and I’m told that the process takes about 2 months if I carry on with it and I’m currently 7 weeks in and waiting for a mindef interview. I can’t decide if it’s worth it to complete NS. I can’t decide if it’s worth it to renounce my PR and continue my degree in Malaysia. Could I get some advice on the matter.
Dear WaluigiFan,
Thank you for sharing your situation and for the courage in asking for help. I hear that it’s a lot of things to consider for you, and the answers are not coming easy. I wanted to acknowledge your love and care towards the consideration you have for your family, in terms of taking the financial pressure off in pursuing the degree with the NS pay.
I don’t have the answers for you. But here are some consideration that you can take:
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Firstly, whatever things that people have said to you. They make sense, but they make sense for them. The idea about how it is best to stay in Singapore to make money, maybe something that they want. But is that something that you want? You have to ask yourself that question.
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Based on the short sharing that you have here, it sounds to me that you are someone who already has clarity about what you want in life i.e. the degree at MMU. I like you to consider the idea that there is never a right or wrong decision in life. But instead, think about it this way. Every choice you make will open a different door and a different path in life for you. Rather than ask what is the right or wrong choice. I like to invite you to think about it, in terms of consequences. When I make this choice, what consequences are there? And then ask, am I ok with it? Know that you will take responsibility for whatever choice you made and no one else.
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Lastly, I want to invite you to consider this idea. That the answers that you seek is already within you.
I want you to think about this. Have you noticed that when you make a choice that is true to you, your body responds one way. When you make a choice that is out of fear or not true to you, your body responds differently?
For example, years ago, when I see a stranger alone in public and is obviously struggling e.g. crying. I always wanted to walk to them and check in on them. But I was scared that they would judge me and when I walked away from them, I had a clenching feeling in my stomach. And I know that I haven’t acted truthfully. And years later, I found myself in a similar situation, with a girl crying by the road. Even though I was still scared on how they would respond, and actually felt anxious as I walked up and checked in on the girl.
Something in my body told me that I was making the right choice. I felt expansiveness in my body, and other people have described similar feelings of “at ease” or “feeling at home”. If this part makes sense to you, learn to listen to your body, who is always guiding you to the right direction.
When you think about renouncing your PR, what do you notice in your body?
When you think about continuing to stay in NS. What do you notice about your body again?
I trust that you will find the right path for you.
I honour the courage and love that you possess.
Wishing you all the best, no matter which doors open for you,
Seektruth
thanks for sharing @WaluigiFan, think it’s not an easy decision to make. I hear you about feeling
it seems like the logical choice is safeguard your wellbeing and continue your degree in Malaysia but it feels like there’s something holding you back - what is it?
Have you also spoken to your parents about this? Are they supportive?