Recently my friend asked if he can perform on stage with me for prom but I declined.
The thing is, what I am performing was something it took several days for me to master, which is a dance performance. That performance was originally reserved for a talent show in August but it didn’t make it to the talent show and moved to the prom instead. Just yesterday, my friend messaged me saying he can dance as well but its only one move which is a moonwalk.
The reason I declined is because my original performance is more suited for one person and the moves I do are more complex, meaning that his one dance move isn’t enough. Secondly, it will look messy because there’s only a short period of time before prom and while I already have the moves engraved into muscle memory, my concern is that the entire performance would mess up.
I know it sounds like I’m being selfish, but I also wanted to take the prom performance as an opportunity to perform solo because all the performances in my life have me performing with others. Moreover, this friend of mine doesn’t seem to know that my dance routine for the perform took me a long time to master. I can already imagine a worse case scenario where I’m the one mainly dancing and he does the moonwalk (just that) and it looks incredibly messy and the cohort will mock us.
At first, I told my friend no but and also apologised if the reasons I provided sounded too harsh. But then he says it actually does sound harsh because he already told the prom teacher in charge about him joining my performance. So it feels like he’s forcing me to let him join my performance even though I really want to perform solo. Eventually I said I will give it a bit more thought.
Should I let him join me or stick to what I want
Hello @undying_sun thank you for opening up about this. I can really hear how much this performance means to you. It’s not just a dance routine, it’s something you’ve spent days perfecting and had originally planned for another big moment which was the talent show. So it makes complete sense why you’d want to give it your all and perform it solo, especially when you’ve worked hard to get every move into muscle memory.
I don’t think it’s selfish at all to want this space for yourself, especially since you mentioned that most of your previous performances have been with others. Wanting this to be a moment where you get to shine on your own is completely valid. It also sounds like you’re thinking not just about yourself, but about the overall flow and presentation of the performance, especially with the short time left before prom.
It’s also understandable that your friend’s response made things more complicated, especially since he already told the teacher without checking in with you first. That might have made you feel pressured, which is really tough when you’ve already set a clear boundary.
At the end of the day, it’s okay to honour what feels right for you. You’ve put in the time and effort, and it’s valid to want to protect the vision and integrity of the performance you’ve worked so hard on. If you do decide to have a follow-up conversation with your friend, maybe you could acknowledge his excitement while still being honest about your concerns. Sometimes people don’t see the full picture until we help them understand it.
Whatever you choose, you deserve to feel proud and confident about what you put on stage.
Hey @undying_sun
Thanks for reaching out 
, sounds like you are put in tough situation. It seems like this is something that you have been looking forward to, to put yourself out there to do a solo performance, to put in all the time and energy you have put in so far. That is dedication and I respect you for that 
! I really hope you are proud of yourself for coming this far.
There is nothing wrong at all with wanting to perform solo. This is YOUR chance, YOUR opportunity and YOUR effort that you have put in all this time 
. If you feel like you want to perform solo, go for it 
! This is your chance and it is not selfish of you at all.
If you feel that you really do not want him to join, and that your boundaries were pushed, it would be good for you to discuss it with both him and the teacher in charge. Afterall, this was your original idea but it would also be good to allow both of them to hear your side of the story to avoid any conflicts/misunderstandings . I am sure you do not want your friend to be hurt, but you yourself do not want your boundaries and space to be pushed. It is okay to want to keep within your space and do something you are comfortable with. I encourage you to talk it out with both of them. I truly hope they respect your space and opinion 
. You got this!