Im a very loud and proactive person,i always have been. Why do i do it? To cover up my insecurities and get validation,attention. But,no matter how hard i try,im always overshadowed and outstaged by people who barely even put in effort. Plus,my ‘proactiveness’ has earned me titles such as ‘pickme’ and ‘teachers pet’. Sometimes,i just cant help but feel like im too much,but not enough.
Hey @Hazelelel from what you’ve shared in your post, it sounds like you’ve always had a lively and bubbly personality that others view as attention-seeking. And you’ve mentioned that the reason for your buoyant energy is a way for you to hide your flaws and get recognition from others.
I empathise that you feel upset over it, and acknowledge the situation that you’re in. When we are loud and zealous, there will inevitably be naysayers that critic such behaviour, labelling it as attention-grabbing and egoistic. And that may influence our own opinions on the reasons for our behaviour, making us question ourselves whether we are indeed attention-seeking.
You’ve mentioned that you’ve always been lively, and perhaps that is just the way you are. Perhaps you feel more strongly than others to share your thoughts, feelings and emotions vividly to the people around you. It does not necessarily mean that you’re only doing so to seek validation and attention. And so there’s nothing wrong with being energetic and loud all the time, there is no need to blame yourselves for being so.
I understand that you are upset that others seem to outshine you, and these feelings of frustration that arises from comparison are natural. It makes us feel that our efforts are not enough, and that we are not enough.
Maybe you can take a step back, and think about the things that you have, or things you’ve have achieved in the past. There will always be someone better, stronger, more amazing than us. But in our capacity, we try the best that we can, and though it might not be as spectacular as others, we are still good enough for we’ve gave it our all, and perhaps am someone that others are looking up to too.
Trying to navigate through relationships with your classmates and friends that conflict with your own personality is not easy, and can cause a lot of stress on yourself. So be kind to yourself, know that you are already doing the best that you can, and know that there is and will always be a positive side to things despite all the external criticism — you just have to take your time and go find it. Also, if it is bothering you a lot, please go talk about it to a trusted friend or adult, talking it out can sometimes be a form of relief as well. You can do it! 
Hey @Hazelelel. Thank you for sharing something so real. It takes courage to open up about the parts of ourselves we often hide behind smiles and energy. I can only imagine how tiring it must be to always feel like you have to be “on” all the time just to feel seen, yet still feel overlooked or misunderstood.
Can I just say that your loudness, your energy, your initiative are not flaws. They’re signs of someone who cares deeply, who wants to connect, who’s just trying to find their place in a world that sometimes doesn’t make space for you. That doesn’t make you “too much”. It makes you someone who matters.
And your insecurities? They don’t make you any less valid. they speak to the fact that you feel deeply, and that’s part of what makes you human.
Being called a “pick me” or a “teacher’s pet” often come from people’s own insecurities or misunderstandings. But you don’t have to carry those words as truth. You are not defined by them. You are more than the reactions of others. You’re trying, and that effort is valid, even if others can’t always see your reasons or your heart behind it.
You don’t have to shrink to fit in. Your presence doesn’t need to be earned, it deserves to be honoured just as it is. Even when you feel overshadowed, you’re still worthy. Even without the performance, you are still enough.
You’re not alone in this, and I hope you continue to find spaces where you’re not just tolerated, but truly seen. You are worth it. Always 
Dear @Hazelelel
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It takes courage to be self aware and honest. It also shows your determination to better manage how you are feeling and behaving in the situations you are in.
Please know that it’s only human and completely okay to want to be seen, heard, and valued. We all do, in our own ways. Being loud and proactive might have been how you learned to cope, to make space for yourself in a world that didn’t always offer it freely. That’s not something to be ashamed of. Instead, it shows your strength and ability to be adaptable and flexible.
I can imagine how disheartening it feels when others seem to shine without trying, while your efforts are misunderstood or labelled unfairly. It’s painful to feel like you’re always giving so much, yet still falling short in people’s eyes.
May I gently assure that you are not “too much,” and you are enough. You’re someone with a big presence and a big heart, trying to feel seen in a way that feels real. That’s deeply human.
It’s okay to want validation, but you also deserve spaces and people who value you without having to fight for it. You don’t need to shrink or perform to belong.
I refer to what @ScribblingSunflower shared about being called a “pick me” or a “teacher’s pet” and agree it often arises because others are insecure, misconstrue your intentions or do not know you well. What they say is not the truth, and their words are just opinions.
I believe and want to share that you are worthy as you are, not just when you’re trying your hardest. Please don’t feel alone and continue reaching out whenever you need to. 
Hey @Hazelelel,
Thank you so much for opening up with something so personal - I can only imagine how much courage it took to share this
What you’re going through sounds incredibly exhausting and lonely. That feeling of putting yourself out there, only to have people misunderstand or judge you - that must be so disheartening. It’s like you’re caught between wanting to hide away and needing to be seen and understood for who you really are.
I want you to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being loud and proactive - those are beautiful parts. But I also deeply understand how painful it is when those very qualities that make you special become the things people criticize. It’s exhausting to feel like you have to constantly prove your worth or explain yourself.
Your need for validation and attention? That’s not a character flaw - that’s you being human. We all crave connection and understanding. The fact that you’re aware of these feelings shows incredible self-compassion and growth!
I hear the weariness in your words, that frustration of “why can’t people just get me?” Your feelings about all of this are completely valid, and it makes complete sense that you’d feel hurt and tired.
You are enough, exactly as you are right now. Your worth isn’t determined by how others perceive you or whether they “get” you. You are inherently valuable and deserving of love and acceptance.
Many hugs and support sending your way!
Hey @Hazelelel, thank you for being so open and honest, that takes a lot of courage. I can only imagine how exhausting it must be to constantly put yourself out there, trying to be seen and appreciated, and still feel like it’s not enough. It’s painful when your efforts are misunderstood or labeled in ways that feel dismissive. You’re not “too much” . You’re someone with a big heart who’s trying hard to belong and be valued. That matters. You matter. You don’t have to shrink yourself to make others comfortable. The right people will see your intentions and appreciate you for the person you are, not just how you present.
Hello, thank you for sharing. I believe that being proactive and sharing your thoughts can be a great icebreaker and conversation starter. I understand that some people may put labels to the title, which may stem from their anxieties and insecurities. Your thoughts and feelings are valid and deserve to be heard 
Rooting for you OP!
hi @Hazelelel ,
I am assuming you are still in school, since you used the term “teachers pet”. Please do not view “loud and proactive” as bad traits to have, because they are not. I’d say do not be afraid to be who you are. We do not have to be vulnerable in front of people all the time, so i can understand why you are doing that.
Actually, loud and proactive are good traits to have in a corporate environment. I’d say you have the qualities of a leader 