Sometimes I feel like my emotions are just an act and it’s not real. Like when I cry, I ask myself ‘am I crying for real or just manipulate my brain to cry thinking I’m feeling sad?’
Also, why do I need someone’s approval to believe that I’m feeling something? For example, pain. Sometimes I’m not sure what I’m feeling is painful enough to be called a pain. If someone says what I’m dealing with must be painful, looks painful, are painful, until then I’ll believe that it is painful.
Can someone explain? Or even if you might’ve experience the same thing, feel free to share. I would like to understand about this more
Hey @Meo, thanks for sharing this with me. It’s brave to talk about these deeply personal thoughts and feelings. What you’re experiencing is more common than you might think. It sounds like you’re dealing with some complex emotions and self-doubt.
When it comes to our feelings, it’s not unusual to question their authenticity. Sometimes, our minds get wrapped up in overthinking and we start doubting ourselves. Emotions can be tricky—sometimes they’re clear as day, and other times they’re like a fog. The need for validation from others when it comes to your feelings is part of being human. We’re social creatures, and seeking assurance is a way to connect and understand ourselves better through others’ perspectives.
Regarding pain, it’s important to recognize that pain is subjective. It varies greatly from person to person. What might be excruciating for one might be tolerable for another. If you feel uncertain about whether what you’re experiencing is “real” pain, it’s okay to talk to someone about it—a friend, family member, or a professional. They can help you make sense of your feelings and validate your experience.
Remember, you don’t need to have someone else’s approval to validate your emotions or pain. Your feelings are valid simply because you feel them. It’s all part of the human experience, even if it feels confusing sometimes.
If you ever feel like talking more about this, or if there’s anything specific you’d like to delve into, I’m here for you.
I personally have always fail to differentiate how I want to feel vs How I actually feel. So for me is If you actually cried or feel like crying, there’s something you wanna let out. If you are feeling pain then It is pain. Your first reaction is ur true reaction! Believe that emotions are real
Hey @Meo! Agree with this just wanna add on that it could also be you processing the emotions at the moment and its normal to take into consideration what are people are saying. At the end of the day what you are feeling is your subconsicius and body trying to guide you to doing what you need
This is so weird, but I felt the same way right now. Hence why I am on here. Didn’t expect to see someone having gone through it. Did you figure out if your emotions are real or not?
Me personally, I feel like I do usually feel emotions, but at certain times I become uncertain if they are real. For example, I was sort of just crying and throwing a mini, quiet tantrum, then I just stopped and my face went back to normal.
I am honestly really confused, so if anything helped you. Please do share it with me as well.
I think I do figured it out (most of the time) and now I don’t really spend my time overthinking about my emotions anymore. I guess maybe it’s because I’m trying harder now to stop my addiction of something and try to live a healthy life now. For example, exercises. It keeps me from overthinking.
Ouh btw, I’m the type of person that don’t really like to show my inner personality to people so usually i would act like an extrovert in my room when I’m alone just to let out something in my heart (it means I’m actually feel like an extrovert/happy that time and not pretending or anything).
Although there’s time when I don’t feel like being an extrovert in my room and sometimes I act like a nonchalant person haha. But I think everyone are like this when they’re alone right?
But about crying (since I’m a sensitive person and easily cry), I take the advice from someone who’s replying to my message before which it says that if I feel like crying or are crying, it means there’s something my heart wants to let out.
And because of your message, I just noticed that I’ve got better with understanding my emotions now. So, thanks
Last! I think there’s many perspective to look at to know whether your feelings are real or not. For me, when I’m with myself, that’s my real emotions about some things. But when I’m with people, it could be I’m just pretending just to pleased them. But it could also feel true. Maybe believe in your guts? And understand your feelings better. ^^
@Meo thank you for the question! though I am not sure myself I do think that its okay to cry and and everyone has something different that makes them cry and that doesn’t make anyone less it just makes us human! And about pain and feelings I agree with you! You don’t need anyone’s approval to feel something because how you feel is valid and how others feel about things is also valid so when you feel like its hurts you that is pain even if someone else might not think so. I know it sounds confusing but I believe we all feel differently but just because we can’t fully understand how someone feels doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there
@Meo Thank you so much for sharing this. What you’re describing is actually more common than you might think, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.
It can be really confusing when there’s a disconnect between what you think you’re feeling and what you believe you’re supposed to feel. Questioning your own emotions, wondering if they’re “real” or just something your mind is performing — that doesn’t make you inauthentic; it means you’re deeply reflective and aware.
As for needing external validation to name your pain or emotions, again, that’s not unusual. Sometimes it’s hard to trust our internal signals, especially if we’ve been in environments where our feelings were ignored, minimized, or doubted. In those cases, we might start looking to others to confirm what we’re experiencing, almost like using their perspective as a mirror to make sense of our own.
None of this makes your experiences any less real or valid. Feelings can be messy and layered, and they don’t always come with clear labels. Just because you’re asking these questions doesn’t mean you’re faking anything, in fact, it shows a lot of honesty and courage.
You’re doing something really important by trying to understand yourself better. That’s a powerful kind of self-awareness, and it’s something you deserve to explore with compassion, not judgment.
