Hi,
I just wanted to ask is it okay to not do anything for a year (not employed during this period as well) I have been having self doubt whether was it the right choice for me to take this break after my graduation. Unlike alot of people who spent meaningful time during this break (going out, going overseas, going courses, doing what they like, volunteering), all i did at home was using the phone, watching show and scrolling social media. Literally did nothing value adding. I mean if u were to ask me would i still take the break i would say yes definitely, but I wouldnt take such a long break. Probably at most 6 months and I would have spent the time more meaningfully. Instead these 1 year+ have just been feeling anxious, self doubt and comparing with my peers of the same age as me who is either working or doing things that they like just feels more stressful for me. I took the break to rejuvenate and heal for my mental health but is getting worse i feel unlike many who actually felt better after the break. And i tried finding someone with exact similar situation as me but i couldnt and i just feel like i am the worse. Can someone enlighten me about my current situation?
Dear Junni
It sounds like you’re struggling with feelings of guilt, self-doubt, and anxiety about your decision to take a break after graduation. You’re comparing yourself to peers who seem to be achieving more, and feeling like you’ve wasted time.
Firstly, acknowledge that taking a break for mental health reasons is courageous and essential! It’s okay to prioritize your well-being.
However, it’s also important to recognize that excessive screen time and inactivity can amplify feelings of lethargy and self-doubt.
Consider the following:
- Reflect on your goals and aspirations. What do you want to achieve in the next 6-12 months?
- Break your goals into smaller, manageable steps.
- Explore activities that bring you joy and fulfillment (e.g., hobbies, volunteering, learning a new skill).
- Set boundaries with social media and screen time.
- Seek support from a therapist or counselor to address anxiety and self-doubt.
Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and comparisons can be harmful. Focus on your growth and progress, not others’. Everyone is running their own race.
You are not alone, and it’s never too late to choose making a positive change. Take small steps towards a more fulfilling life, and be kind to yourself along the way!
Hi, can you validate why is it not too late because i keep having feelings of lagging behind
Hi Junni,
Thank you for reaching out. Your journey is unique and comparisons are not healthy. Others did not go thru your life experiences, challenges and circumstances.
I sense you are currently determined to get back on your feet after a difficult time and that itself is a huge victory that you can be proud of. Well done!
Start small and make daily progress towards reaching your goals and aspirations.
I encourage you to not look back too much but instead focus on what you can now directly control - your future.
Slowly, pay less attention to those negative feelings. Let them remain in the background like a radio playing in a mall. Acknowledge them, but actively choose to focus on what you can do from now on to chart your future.
Slowly, those feelings of inadequacy will reduce their grip on you.
You got this! 
Hi Caringbee
Thank you for the quick reply! Really appreciate it! While i know i shouldnt dwell upon the past but soemtimes i cant help but self doubt about this break especially i am seeking for a job but no one has gotten back to me and i cant help but to think is it cuz of this break and my lack of experience (esp most of my exp is internships only) puts me at more advantage. And recently i then know companies r given grants to hire fresh grads and i am more at disadvantage cuz I alrd lost that “freshness”. Like i know i will still take this break if i turn back in time, but I keep thinking i will keep it shorter like max 6 mths… So like is 1 year really long?
And is it really normal and cant help but to think is a waste of time since I wasnt able make full use on it. So sorry that i keep dweling on the past when we r supposed to look forward to the future
Hi Junni
It’s completely understandable to have these thoughts and doubts! It’s natural to reflect on past decisions and wonder about their impact on your current situation.
Firstly, remember that a 1-year break is not uncommon, and many people take time off for various reasons. It’s not necessarily a waste of time, but rather a pause in your journey.
Regarding your concerns about job hunting, remember that:
- Lack of experience doesn’t define your potential or capabilities.
- Internships are valuable experiences that can showcase your skills and adaptability.
- Many companies value candidates with unique perspectives and experiences, which your break may have provided.
- Fresh grad grants are specific programs, but many companies still hire based on merit and fit.
Try to reframe your thinking:
- Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on what you can control now – building your skills, network, and personal growth.
- Highlight your transferable skills and experiences in your applications.
- Emphasize your enthusiasm, eagerness to learn, and unique perspectives.
Remember, it’s okay to take time to figure things out. You’re not alone in this journey! Keep moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to your goals.
Do tap on resources available below to help you in your job search.
Stay optimistic and focused !
Thank you 