Hi, I am a university graduate who have been unemployed for a year as I wanted to take a break from burn outs and to focus on my mental wellbeing… Initially, I wanted to take only 3 months but slowly it became longer and now dragged to one year… I mean, it seems normal and honestly one year is actually alot of time to do what i want, be it to lose weight or improve my mental health, but the truth is, none of it happened. I know I shouldnt compare, but i always feel pressured that my peers are already securing a job, leading their wonderful life while I am still like stuck here. And unlike those who took a gap year to develop themselves by going volunteering or really go on a self-discovery journey, my life is basically waking up, be on social media, eat and back to sleep. Even waking up becomes difficult as i take 1 hour to get out of my bed. But if you ask me, I still have no motivation to find a job but i do feel like a letdown and i feel shameful of myself for being in this condition. Nowadays, I feel more anxious as 1 year is coming up and I have no idea what to give when employers were to ask “so what have you been doing this 1 year”. I often feel anxious and i do kinda dislike myself for being in this state and slowly i drift away from my friends as i realise i develop toxic feelings towards them due to my enviness. Therefore i really need help and advice on dealing with such things, and also some word of comfort as well 
Thank you for reading~
Thank you for taking time to share your struggles with us here. It does take a lot of courage and strength to be so open with your feelings, and I would like to affirm you for that.
Currently, it sounds like you are spiralling downwards in negative thoughts, it feels frustrating and helpless. I think it might be helpful for you to think about what has been going well for you. It seems like you are doubting your earlier decision to take a break for your mental well-being. I must say that’s a brave move and I am glad you took this step.
Sometimes, people feel bad for taking a break as life seems to keep moving for others. I would like to remind you that it is okay to move at different pace. What matters most is your goals and your mental well-being.
You mentioned how hard it is to even get yourselr out of bed. Maybe to you, it sounds basic. But it is a huge step to take for anyone with low motivation levels. So I want you to affirm yourself on being so strong in getting out of your bed to look for jobs and to even be on this platform to share your feelings.
When you learn to affirm yourself more and appreciate the steps you take, you can be more confident about yourself and empower yourself to take more steps forward.
It sounds tiring and you have come far, in your own pace. If you need more motivation, you may consider the following suggestions:
- Self compassion. Speak kindly to yourself. Remind yourself of how far you have come. Focus more on your strengths, not comparing yourself with others. You are unique and special in your way.
- Less self-blame. Maybe you think that your decision to take a break was a wrong decision or that you could have been more productive during the time.
Or consider this. Maybe this break is something you really needed before you step into the working world. Maybe you did not need to be productive because this is a break. Try taking a different perspective so you feel less stuck. - Make plans. Try making a routine and planning your steps. Breaking down your goals might seem less daunting and easier to achieve.
- Seek support. Talk to your family or friends and be connected with them. Now is not the time for you to be left alone with your thoughts as you are spiralling.
- Be engaged. Find activities to do that you enjoy so you get motivation to get out of bed easier. Get physical, do some exercise to warm up your body and you might feel more energetic.
I hope this has been helpful! Do keep us updated and all the best!
Hi, thank you for your reply… Its been days and I am still feeling anxious. What added to my anxiety is i realised i am not as worthy as compared to my peers who have the required talent and skills for work… Additionally i am trying to find a job now but most job requires work experience at least. Firstly, I have no idea how to explain my career break as I really did nothing useful at home unlike my peers and secondly I feel that finding career after a career break is much harder than starting it right after grad. I thought it will be easy but i am wrong… Additionally, new batch of graduates are coming up and i feel that i am at disadvantage. Even my frens who have taken career break has embarked on their career. And also whenever I see “Minimum 1 year experience required” I often re-think is it wrong to take career break? Like if i were to start immediately, I would have gotten that 1 year of experience instead of wasting it at home (theres a sense of regret there as well)