Taking a break

Is it normal to take break for so long after graduation? I have been taking break after my last exam for 1 year or more and i am feeling guilty and shameful about it, like everyday i am living with these emotions and i really didnt do anything these 1 year… Literally staying at home only… But i am not motivated to work yet… Anyone experiencing or had experienced same as mine

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Hi @anonymous274

I remember your sharing in another post a few days ago and it sounds like you are still bothered by such thoughts. It feels difficult to be in your shoes and I wonder how you would like to be supported.

If you are wondering whether there are others like you who shares similar experiences, I am sure that you are not alone in this journey. And I think it takes a lot of effort to find motivation in trying to do something different. Everyone has their own pace in adjusting to new routines and it might be helpful for you to think about how you want that adjustment to be like.

Would you like to share with us your fears and concerns, or what is holding you back. Maybe if we can identify the underlying issues behind your feelings, we can figure out a better way to support you.

In the meantime, I hope you continue to be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate through this. I see that this can be frustrating along with some feelings of helplessness/stuck, and there can be a way out. Trust yourself as you pace along this period.

Do let us know!

Thank you for your reply to all my posts so far :slight_smile: To be honest i am also not sure why I feel stuck and feeling so weak… Making because my past internship experience has been bad and I can tell my colleagues are not happy with me but I blame it on myself because I feel I have low EQ as I kinda talk behind the back of my colleagues and often a times I showed alot of negative emotions, and my performance has been poor and I really feel like my mindset wasnt right. I also have been late for work at times and I often compare myself to other colleagues and I have shown and spread alot of negativity to my colleagues and I can really tell they are not happy with me… Like my colleagues are nice but i feel that i am not working but more of craving attention and i am not familiar with coporate ettiques. I think i spread alot of negativity and dont take feedback in well… In the end i had poor results and i feel that all this feedback to me that I am a poor employee and blame alot on myself. As a result I feel that I wont survive in workforce if i have this mindset and therefore I always say I am not mentally ready to work… But is also not like these 1 year I took in effort to improve myself be it in my appearance or take courses or even improve on my mental health, cuz i beat myself alot for being like this… Like why cant i be strong-minded or like why cant i be like others who have motivation to work and I come from a financially poor family so all the more i feel i need to work… If it was one intern, i would think i am not fit for the company but both my internships I experienced same thing which is why i think is my problem… I always blame it on my lack of motivation and driven-mindset, like I am not confident as well. Even when i tried writing resume, although i need to boost myself but i am not sure how to and what are my strengths and sometimes i feel that I might be lying just to get hried.

On the other hand is good to know i am no alone but at the same i feel alone as well as i haven heard anyone going thru same path.

On a side note, your previous reply helped me alot as well :slight_smile:

Hi @anonymous274

Thank you for sharing in details about your previous experiences and I think it really helps to connect the dots. I can see why you find it so hard to be motivated to seek employment because of your experiences. To be honest, I think I would feel that way as well if I had such negative experiences because it can be so discouraging.

I see that you are blaming yourself to a great extent and you are worried about falling into the same hole as you did previously. It surely does not feel good to have such feelings.

I have some suggestions for you to consider trying. I am trying to consolidate what you have shared in the other post as well. (Anxious over long career break - #3 by anonymous274)

  1. Find something to do that you enjoy and are good at. It seems like you are not feeling very confident of yourself right now and you need a boost to improve your self-confidence. Doing something you are good at can probably help with that and help you see yourself in a more positive light.
  2. Try not to compare yourself with others. You are unique and it is okay to move at your own pace. The more you try to be like others, the more you lose direction of what you want. Achieve your own goals, not other people’s goals.
  3. If possible, take feedback with an open heart. Try to see what is constructive from those feedback and work on the areas of improvement. If people do give you feedback directly, it could mean that they see potential in you in work on it. It could be better than not receiving feedback at all, and not knowing what you could improve on.
  4. Think about yourself as a fresh graduate who is seeking employment. A fresh graduate would encounter the same issues such as not enough work experience to fulfil that criteria. If you were seeking employment last year, you would still have to go through the same situation. Also, sometimes the job listings might include work experiences as a criteria but you can always try applying. Your internship experiences count too!
  5. You don’t have to be too concerned about having to explain the career break. Some people take it to reconsider their career, medical concerns, getting a mental break or just having some time for themselves before they embark on their career. It is about being confident with your decision that you have made at that time and how you present it. It could show that you are brave in taking a route that some others don’t even when they need it.
  6. About your strengths, I think that the way you reflect on your past experiences show a lot of self-awareness. And it sounds like you have been struggling for a long time but you are still not giving up, that demonstrates resilience in you as you are still trying.

I hope this is helpful and that you will be able to find something that is suitable for you soon.