I honestly hate my body so much it’s not even a joke anymore…honestly it’s really hard to even look at myself. at the start of 2024 I was actually acceptable weight, my BMI was 21, but I hated my weight, so I lost weight, my BMI went down to 19 and I was happy until now when I don’t even know my weight but I feel like I’m gaining weight. I never really had any issues with body image before this year, maybe it’s because weight gain became something I began noticing , since I recently began actually caring about my appearance, I wanna lose weight. But at the same time I wish I could be happy with my body the way it is
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Please dont start starving urself. Eat normally but exercise U wanna go hike together on weekends to be actuve
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Hi @Kavya,
It sounds like your relationship with your body has become incredibly challenging, and I can see that this year has brought a lot of new thoughts and emotions about your appearance. It makes sense that as you’ve started caring more about your looks, you’ve also felt pressure and uncertainty around any changes in your body. That can feel confusing, especially when you remember a time when you didn’t feel this way."
I hear that part of you wants to lose weight, but another part wishes to be happy with yourself as you are. This kind of internal conflict can create a lot of stress, and it’s completely valid to feel this way. Sometimes, when we focus heavily on physical changes, we lose sight of the kindness we can show ourselves—no matter what our body looks like.
When you feel uncomfortable looking at yourself, consider practicing gentle self-compassion. It might sound difficult, but try to speak to yourself as you would a close friend. Rather than judging your body in those moments, remind yourself that you deserve understanding and kindness, especially when it’s hard to give that to yourself.
Sometimes, body changes can lead to heightened focus on appearance. Practicing mindful awareness could help shift that focus. When you notice thoughts around weight or appearance, gently bring your attention to how your body feels and what it does for you each day, rather than how it looks. This can create a sense of connection to your body’s strength and abilities.
It’s common to feel body image concerns after a shift in personal appearance, but sometimes these concerns are tied to feelings or beliefs about our self-worth. Exploring these thoughts could help you understand where they come from and how to find balance between caring for your appearance and feeling good about who you are.
Working towards body neutrality—where you view your body without judgment—can sometimes be more achievable than immediate self-acceptance. Setting small goals, like recognizing one thing your body enables you to do daily, can help you gradually create a more accepting and less judgmental relationship with yourself.
This journey to self-acceptance can be tough, but the fact that you’re reaching out and exploring your feelings shows incredible strength. Being gentle with yourself as you work on these changes is essential, and remember, you’re not alone in this. Many people struggle with similar feelings, and support is available to help you find peace with yourself.
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Your BMI seems to be in the healthy range (between 18.5 to 23 is good). Wanting to lose weight is fine but I guess just make sure you’re getting sufficient nutrition and not go below 18.5.
But I’m curious - is it your weight (number) that you hate or do you hate the way you look? BMI is probably not a good gauge because two people can have the same BMI but look very different
Hi @kavya,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about your body. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in these feelings. It’s completely valid to have ups and downs regarding body image, especially when it feels like it’s tied to your self-worth or happiness.
It sounds like you were feeling okay at a certain weight, but then when you started focusing more on your appearance, those feelings of insecurity began to creep in. It’s understandable that noticing changes can become overwhelming, especially if you’ve never faced these issues before. Many people can relate to the struggle of wanting to feel good in their own skin while also feeling pressure to look a certain way.
I want to encourage you to be gentle with yourself during this time. It’s okay to have conflicting feelings about wanting to lose weight while also wishing you could accept yourself as you are. Perhaps taking a step back and considering what really brings you joy and confidence—beyond physical appearance—could be helpful.
You might find it beneficial to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a professional who can provide support. Sometimes, sharing our thoughts and feelings can lighten the burden and offer new perspectives. Remember, your value and worth are not defined by a number on a scale. You deserve to feel happy and confident in your body, regardless of its size or shape. Embracing your uniqueness is a lifelong journey, and it’s perfectly okay to seek balance between wanting change and practicing self-acceptance.
Actually, check out body positive movement on TikTok or Instagram or something. Look at plus sized models.
You just need to find out what style or makeup works for you. Celebrate your uniqueness. In the fashion industry, people celebrate their differences. One day you should go to New York, every one embraces themselves for who they are.
No need to conform. You’ll realise how many different types of people are out there. It’s all good. You’re all good.