TW: body image issues/weight

Hangouts Rants
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i dont really know where to post this under because im new here.

i’ve been trying to diet (eating 1 or 2 meals a day, cut sugar) and exercise (go on runs a lot) but nothing is changing. actually, my weight is increasing. its embarrassing to talk about this with my friends and family because my friends will just say im skinny/normal sized (my stomach is big i just hide it well by wearing loose stuff) and my family says im fat and need to lose weight. they talk about my weight a lot.

im really not losing any weight at all and it makes me feel sad. everyday i go on ig or tiktok and i see people with just nice bodies. people who are skinny, or lean, or muscular etc. but im not even close to any of that.

i also feel even more insecure because i have friends that are the same height as me or just a little taller, who are 10 kg or more heavier than me, but they’re still skinnier. seriously they have flat stomachs and small waists. then i have friends who are my height but weigh wayyy less. or i have friends who have a nice curvy figure and somehow their bellies are still flat. or muscular/lean friends. or those petite small, skinny-waisted people. everyone around me seriously seem to have attractive body types, but i just look weird.

i dont have an ed or anything, because i have actually given up on my diet (which i didnt even stick to for a full week anyway) and just do the intuitive eating thing (which actually made me gain more wieght so that sucks). does anyone have tips on how to accept myself the way i am or maybe motivation to exercise more. i stopped exercising for a while because of a busy schedule and just when it cleared up so i have more free time, i injured my legs and cant really do my favourite form of exercise, running, anymore.

i was really happy at the start of the year when i decided to work on myself because i lost weight, and was slowly making my way to my goal. i dont actually know what happened because i kept up my routine for at least 3 months but im gaining weight.

ok this rant doesnt really read like a rant but whatever. thanks for reading if you did.

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Hi @siren ! Your posts about wanting your body to look a certain way, as well as the one about finding romantic love really spoke to me!

Something that might be helpful for you is to think about what you want to do with your body, as opposed to how your body looks. Are there certain sports/dances/exercises that motivate you to move, that have less to do with how your body looks, but how it feels to you? Maybe exploring sports other than running (until you recover!), could expand your horizons a bit (rowing? gymming?), and make the process more fun!

Something else that helped my mental health when I was feeling down about my body was unfollowing a lot of fitness influencers/models on IG. Some of them try to be helpful and give tips but ultimately it feels like what they are showing is super artificial, and only achievable by people who have lots of money and work on their bodies as their full-time job. Based on your other post, it seems like social media might also be influencing your perception of relationships/people in general. While I do agree that there might be kinda unsavory folks out there, the people that tend to populate the comments section of IG reels etc. are not a really good representation of society at large also.

I feel like flipping the script abit and thinking about being the kind of person I want to date helped me get out of my funk. When I started volunteering etc. and meeting like minded people who cared about the same things that I did, I realized that actually there are alot of good people out there who also feel similarly to me that I can connect with, and they are probably not on the IG comments sections!

I get the sense that these two issues are probably quite closely linked for you, and would love to hear if you have any thoughts/expectations for yourself in terms of losing weight/finding romance!

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Dear @siren,

A warm welcome to the community! :wave:t4:

It’s totally okay to feel the way you do, alot of people go through this phase of questioning themselves and it’s great that you’re reaching out for support. :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

May I suggest starting with Self-Love. :orange_heart: Self-love means appreciating yourself and recognising your worth regardless of your appearance or weight. It involves being kind to yourself, understanding your own needs, and treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer to a friend. Practising self-love can improve your outlook by reducing negative self-talk and boosting your confidence. When you love and accept yourself, you’re more likely to make healthier choices, not out of punishment, but out of a desire to care for your well-being.

It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially on social media. Remember that people often post their highlights, not their struggles. Practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of your unique strengths and qualities. Set small, achievable goals for yourself. Celebrate each milestone, no matter how small. This can help keep you motivated and focused on your progress rather than the outcome.

Instead of focusing solely on weight gain or weight loss, try looking at your fitness from a broader perspective. Use tangible and reliable measurements like your BMI (Body Mass Index), and consider how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. Are you stronger or more resilient than you were yesterday? Building routines and consistency in your chosen lifestyle can lead to more sustainable and fulfilling progress.

It’s normal for weight to fluctuate due to various factors like water retention, muscle gain, and hormonal changes. When you exercise, especially if you’re running or doing other physical activities, you might gain muscle. Muscle is denser than fat, so even if the scale shows a higher number, your body composition might be changing for the better.

Instead of restrictive dieting, aim for a balanced diet. Include a variety of foods, focusing on whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, and vegetables. Cutting out entire food groups or eating very few meals can slow down your metabolism resulting in unsustainable weigh fluctuations. Find exercises you enjoy that don’t strain your legs. Swimming, yoga, and strength training are great alternatives that can keep you active and help you build muscle.

Choose physical activities you enjoy. This will make it easier to stay consistent. If running isn’t an option right now, explore other forms of exercise that might interest you. Create a routine that fits your lifestyle and stick to it. Even small amounts of daily activity can have a positive impact.

It might be helpful to talk to a counsellor or therapist who can provide you with strategies to manage these feelings and help you develop a healthier relationship with your body. Sometimes, joining a community or support group can make a big difference. Sharing your experiences with others who understand what you’re going through can be very comforting.

Remember, it’s a journey, and it’s okay to have ups and downs. Focus on making healthy choices and being kind to yourself along the way. You’re not alone in this, and reaching out is a brave first step.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
Cool Breeze =)