I’ve been working in a temporary job while waiting for university to start and I just had my last day. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about it but right now I’d just like to enquire about a particular one.
All the days leading up to my last day, some of my colleagues jokingly ask me to convert to doing the job full-time because they say I’m a good worker and they’ll miss me when I’m gone. Of course, I appreciate the compliments, but also, I’m aware that after my departure, there will be some new people coming in to replace me.
And it just has me wondering like, I mean I know they mean it but come on, am I really that special? I bet they felt the same way towards the temporary workers before me, and they’ll feel the same towards the people who come in after me. Maybe the sentiment won’t be exactly the same, but the point is that they’ll get used to and enjoy the presence of these new people once they’re trained and know the job and once they’re used to them.
And the conflicting part here is that I tend to sometimes be a little arrogant about myself - I don’t boast to the people around me, but I do tend to think my opinions are the right ones sometimes until I’m proven wrong.
How normal is it to have this particular set of conflicting traits - being arrogant enough to think I’m always right (sometimes), yet also having such low self-esteem resulting in me genuinely believing I’m not that special to these people because they’ll have / had the same feeling for others?
Hey @tryingtheirbest
I can relate, I’m currently on internship and I had colleagues said I did a great job and that I should convert to full time because they “need” me and I’m great at what I do but deep down I know that I’m replaceable but that doesn’t take away or make it any less true about what my colleagues said.
Everyone is special and bring something unique to the table, they’ll miss you for your presence and contribution. It’s wonderful to know you made a great impression on them.
I would say it’s ok and normal to have conflicting traits/ feelings, many of us can feel confident one moment and doubtful the next. It doesn’t mean you’re not special or that your impact isn’t real. It just shows you’re human.
Acknowledge that you’ve done a great job, you should be proud of that while also staying humble and being open and embrace new experiences.
All the best with Uni! Take care!
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Hi tryingtheirbest
Thank you for reaching out.
Firstly, good job on successfully completing your temporary role well😊. I think that is a laudable achievement as you had just transitioned out of school and bravely took up the challenge to venture into the working world.
From your sharing, I believe your colleagues appreciate your efforts, work ethics and sense of responsibility when they said you are a good colleague. Do take a moment to reflect on the new skills, work experience and happy memories you now have when you worked well with these colleagues.
As you correctly pointed out, with you moving on to study, replacement temp hires are needed.
Your colleagues will commence to interview, hire, and train these replacements; some will stay on and eventually most would leave too and replaced by a newer batch. I gather it is a cycle your full-time colleagues are used to, but I believe they will always remember you fondly as they enjoyed working with you. I even think this role may be a possible job option for you to consider in the future!
You have shared courageously that you have conflicting traits like arrogance and low self-esteem and wonder how normal it is. I hope these insights could help:
• Human personality is multifaceted. Hence it is common and normal to have contradictory characteristics.
• Sometimes the expression of our personality depends on the context. Arrogance may surface in specific situations or topics where you feel more confident, while you feel low self-esteem in other areas which are unfamiliar.
• The very fact that you recognise these contradictions suggests to me that you have started developing more self-awareness. That is a sign of growth and maturity. You can speak to a counsellor and set a goal to raise your self-awareness further – especially finding your values, strengths, personality traits and areas to develop. For example, the counsellor can help you develop assertiveness skills and ways to raise self-esteem.
• Your ability to question your own importance and consider others’ perspectives suggests to me you already possess the qualities of humility and empathy. That counteracts the quality of being arrogant.
Your personal growth journey awaits you as you develop from strength to strength! With continuous reflection and consistent effort, who you are and what makes you tick will only get clearer .
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