Work Colleagues

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Not sure how to feel. But seems like the people around me /colleagues are echoing the same thing around me.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
" You cannot change people, only can change yourself"
“Try to fit in”
“the people here are not what you think they are”

I’ve heard gossips about me and gone through a team change. Which i feel was a bad decision because now that im in the new team, things were good for a while but seems like it’s taking a turn for the worse.

Not gonna say that im perfect but had instead, many time defy my leaders as i think they are not up to my standard. But by doing this, I’ve hurted both sides but i cannot swallow the fact that my leaders aren’t that good… Enough for me :confused:

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Hi @Babasheep, it sounds like you’re going through a pretty challenging time, and it’s okay to feel confused and frustrated about it. It’s tough when you feel like the people around you are echoing these phrases and you’re not sure how to navigate the situation.

It’s tough to deal with gossip, but don’t let it consume you. Focus on your work and your goals. People often gossip when they’re unsure or misinformed, so show them through your actions who you really are.

But of course, if you’re truly feeling unhappy with the leadership and the team, consider looking for opportunities that align more closely with your expectations. Sometimes a change in environment can make a world of difference. It might take time and patience, but there’s often a way to make things better. Keep pushing forward! :blush:

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Hey @Jaws, i think you are right.

That is not who i truly am actually. Think I’m kinda refused to let go because i dont feel good with the change. Not sure how to feel exactly as well.

It’s been close to 3 months already, but i still don’t feel very good about it. Am i in the growth stage, should i give it more time or should i throw the flag?

Thank you @Jaws

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It’s natural to have mixed feelings about this situation. Maybe some guiding questions that you can consider before you make your next move.

  1. How do you envision your ideal work environment and team dynamics? Are there compromises or adjustments you’d be willing to make to find common ground with your colleagues and leaders?
  2. Reflect on your goals and career aspirations. Do you see this current situation aligning with your long-term objectives, or do you think it might be hindering your professional growth?

Remember, it’s okay to take your time to assess the situation and make a decision that’s right for you.

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Hi @Babasheep, thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and feelings with us. It sounds like you’re navigating a complex and challenging work environment, and I can imagine how frustrating and confusing it must be too. I just want to assure you that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions and conflicts in the workplace, especially when you’ve gone through team changes and encountered gossip about yourself.

I feel that the advice you’ve received from your colleagues about not being too hard on yourself and the importance of self-change rather than trying to change others, contains some wisdom. I think that self-compassion is a valuable tool, and it’s important for us to recognize that we all have our strengths and areas for growth. It’s also true that you can’t control the actions and behaviors of others, but the good thing is… you can control how you respond to them :blush:

I can tell that you have strong convictions about your standards and expectations, which can be a positive trait. However, it’s also important to find a balance between holding high standards and working effectively with your leaders and colleagues. If a person is constantly defying leaders, it may lead to conflicts and misunderstandings, which can negatively impact the person’s work relationships and the overall team dynamics.

If you believe that your leaders are not meeting your expectations, it can be helpful to consider constructive ways to address this concern. Open and respectful communication can often lead to positive changes within a team. You might consider having a candid but respectful conversation with your leaders to express your concerns and suggest possible improvements.

Additionally, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about how to navigate these challenges, you may benefit from seeking guidance and support from a career counselor or therapist. They can provide you with strategies for effective communication, conflict resolution, and managing workplace stress.

Meanwhile, here are some helpful tools that you can try to keep yourself calm and emotionally regulated:

Last but not least, finding a balance between maintaining your standards and working collaboratively with your colleagues and leaders is possible! :blush: This is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness, so take your time and pace yourself. Remember, we’re here with you! All the best!

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