I feel like its hard to trust people these days. I am personally going through some difficult circumstances and I saw everyone’s true colours. They werent genuinely nice or cared about me after all. Its either they all went away or they just want to point out my flaws, that I find myself isolating from others or always think that people are bad. Its upsetting when im at a place where I yearn for support from people but end up receiving none. All I got is hurt and being backstabbed. Its hard knowing that I once thought loved ones cared about me, but I was wrong. When I am down everyone either hurt me or leave me behind. Friends dont even really bother about me anymore. How I do move on from here?
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I have social anxiety for a few years now but I feel like it got worse over time. I am currently working at a toxic workplace that would drain my energy and make my mental health worse. Some of my colleagues would just laugh all day or make fun of others, especially me. For instance, I had a colleague that was looking straight to me in the eyes and laughing with their group members. And I thought, maybe its because im an oddball. Maybe I do things weird or funny. From then on, everytime I am in public I would ensure that people dont laugh at me. As funny as it sounds, I would do things, walk, or eat in a certain way just so people wouldnt laugh at me. It got tiring and it made me feel like I have to walk on eggshells all the time. I hope I can recover from this soon.
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Hey @Kiera, thanks for sharing so vulnerably. I can imagine how draining it can be when you’re in a toxic work environment. It does sound quite rude for your colleague to laugh in your face.
I get the feeling of wanting to fit in so that people won’t laugh at you. It must be really tiring. Walking on eggshells all the time is not sustainable. Do you have someone to confide in at your workplace? Maybe a good way to start is to hang out more with people who are more accepting of you.
How about outside of the workplace? Do you feel the same way too or is it better?
I have 2 or 3 colleagues that I am somehow close to but only confide to 1 or 2 of them. I told them how I felt and what I was currently facing in the workplace. The general advice that people give is to ignore but its not that easy. Since I am an introvert too, I guess I tend to listen more actively. I shall try to hang around and engage in more conversations with my colleagues who are nicer.
It is the same when I am in public too. I used to be carefree and not be bothered by what anyone thinks. Now I care too much what people think. Whenever I board the train, everytime when someone laughs I get so triggered if they are laughing at how I look or stand.
I have a few friends outside of work and we hang out at times when we’re free. I had a very close friend from school that I would confide my feelings and problems. We had a friendship that lasted for quite sometime even years after graduation. She would listen and give some encouragement and advice. Ive also tried to switch topics every now and then so she wouldnt be bored listening to my problems all the time. Unfortunately, that didnt last very long. It seems like shes moved on to other friends and didnt really bother to reply me properly. She did not even check in on me anymore, like she once did a few years back. So I decided that I might as well move on.
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Yeah I feel you, it’s really not easy to just ignore. Do you experience a wave of emotions before coming to a conclusion that they are talking about you? What goes through your mind and are there any common triggers that you’ve identified that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Actually my experience is that people say what they want to say and often, they probably don’t remember what they say either. It’s good that you have friends that you can talk to. I don’t think your friend is ignoring you on purpose but as we grow, our priorities change too. I think my circle of friends shrink every year too haha.
Yes, sometimes I have a sudden feeling in my chest? Im not sure how to describe it. What goes through my mind often is that sometimes people will purposely laugh loudly because im alone and quiet. I dont know how to get through this and its affecting my work performance and my life overall. I think this might stem from my own weaknesses too. How people have drilled into my head over the years that i am slow, dumb or incapable😭
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Hi @kiera,
First of all, I’m so proud of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly here. You came to seek help because you’re strong, not weak. Seeking support is a sign of strength. Good effort!
Next, I would like to commend you for your bravery. You sound like you’ve really gone through some difficult moments in your friendships, and it must have been really painful for you. I commend you for not giving up on yourself. You might feel defeated, but yet you didn’t give up - you came to search for help. This effort, I really commend you for it!
It does sound like you need help with managing the anxious feelings, and I would like to recommend a few activities for you to try to help yourself stay regulated if you feel overwhelmed:
- Stay in control - Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- Deep breathing activity - Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
- Relax your mind - Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
Most importantly, I think you should also focus on loving yourself! You are a special and wonderful person with a unique set of skills and talents - don’t let anyone say otherwise. You can try this activity to help remind yourself to love yourself (Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg and Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg )
Always remember that you are important, especially to your family and close friends. Don’t let others’ words put you down - know that you are more than what they say.
Keep your head up and stay strong! Please remember to seek further help from a mental health professional if you feel that you are unable to cope with the pressures at work with colleagues.
Other than that, we’re here with you! All the best!
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Thanks for your help @cottonsoul ! I am grateful to have found a safe space here to let out my feelings, in a world where people can be mean and full of judgement. I appreciate your help and support very much. Thank you 
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