im 18 with nothing going on with my life,ive had a job for a couple of months but quit because a worker there was rude to me and i cried. i dont know who to go to about this and im very anxious of meeting new people in person. Im having a difficult time meeting new people or getting used to new environments because of my past experience of being bullied in secondary school.
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Hey @Hexstr,
Thank you so much for opening up about what you’re going through. I want to take a moment to acknowledge just how brave you are for sharing your story, especially when social anxiety can make it feel so overwhelming to reach out to others. It’s clear that you’ve been through a lot, and I want to let you know that what you’re feeling is valid, and you don’t have to carry this alone.
It sounds like social anxiety has really been taking a toll on you, and I can understand why meeting new people or stepping into new environments feels so difficult right now, especially after what you went through in secondary school. Experiences like bullying can have a lasting impact, making it hard to trust new people or feel safe in social situations. It’s no wonder that being in that job and having someone be rude to you triggered such a strong emotional response. Sometimes, when old wounds are still healing, even a small negative interaction can feel huge, and I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.
I want to hold space for you and let you know that it’s okay to feel anxious right now. It’s not something you can just switch off, and it makes sense that you’d want to protect yourself by stepping back from situations that feel uncomfortable or unsafe. But I also want to encourage you to be proud of the fact that, despite everything, you are here, seeking support and trying to figure out the next step. That takes a lot of courage.
I know it might feel like your anxiety is holding you back, but I truly believe that with the right kind of help, you can start to move through these feelings and find ways to feel more comfortable in social situations.
Right now, it’s important to take things one small step at a time. You don’t need to jump into big changes or expect yourself to fix everything all at once. Let’s start by focusing on regaining your composure in manageable, everyday situations. For example, have there been times when you’ve felt slightly more comfortable around others, or moments when you’ve been able to handle a social situation, even if it was small? Recognizing those moments is a great first step, because it shows you already have some tools to cope, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
From here, let’s think about some gentle ways to gradually desensitize the fears that come with meeting new people or being in social settings. This could mean starting small—maybe trying to engage in a brief conversation with someone you trust or even sending a message to a friend. These small actions are wins, and they help to break the cycle of avoidance that social anxiety often creates. Over time, as you take these small steps, you’ll begin to feel a little more comfortable and in control.
Remember, each step is progress. You don’t have to force yourself into big social situations right away. It’s about building up your confidence slowly, in a way that feels safe and manageable for you. How would you feel about setting a small goal for yourself this week, like sending a text or engaging in a brief conversation with someone? It’s okay if it feels challenging—what matters is that you’re making a start.
I also want to affirm that getting the right kind of support can make a big difference. Working with a therapist who understands social anxiety can help you feel supported and guide you through these fears. A therapist can offer you tools, like how to manage the anxious thoughts that come up in social settings and help you build more confidence over time. Therapy isn’t about rushing through your feelings—it’s about taking things at your own pace and having someone walk with you through the process.
How do you feel about talking to someone who can help you with this? It’s a step that can really make a difference in how you’re feeling and give you the support you deserve.
You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to take your time. Little by little, you’ll start to feel more in control, and seeking professional help can make that journey easier.
If reaching out to a counselor feels scary right now, that’s okay—start small. Even looking up resources online or finding a support group (there are even online ones if in-person feels too hard right now) can be a gentle way to start connecting with others who understand what you’re going through.
For now, be kind to yourself. You’ve already shown incredible strength by sharing your story, and that’s a big step in the right direction. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own skin, and with time and support, you can get there.
Take things one step at a time, and remember—you don’t have to figure it all out at once. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who want to help you find your way forward.
Take care, and reach out whenever you need to talk more about this.
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Hello hexstr,
I hear that you are facing difficulties in meeting and connecting with new people. I note that you were bullied in school and that your ex-colleague did not treat you with respect at your previous workplace, and these negative experiences have contributed to your anxiety about putting yourself out there. It also seems that you are hesitant on finding new employment – please correct me if I am wrong – as you are uncomfortable with the prospect of putting yourself into a new and potentially stressful environment at this time. I am sorry that you are feeling fearful and discouraged in light of your past experiences.
I wish to affirm you for reaching out, and I am hopeful that this first step will be useful in helping you to gain clarity on what next steps you can consider. Whether you speak to a counsellor in person or find support groups, I hope that you will be given the space and time to process your past experiences and thus gain great courage to move forward and explore new environments. I would also like to encourage you to spend time on activities that you enjoy doing, so that you can take your mind off your worries.
Wishing you good health and better days ahead!
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Hello @hexstr. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. I want you to know that feeling overwhelmed and anxious is okay after what you’ve experienced. Being bullied and facing challenges in new environments can make it hard to trust people or feel safe. Quitting a job where you felt uncomfortable was a step in taking care of your well-being, and that’s a brave thing to do. Taking things one day at a time is okay, and there’s no rush to figure everything out. If you’re feeling isolated, reaching out to someone who feels safe, like a family member, a close friend, or even a counselor, might help. You don’t have to go through this alone, and some people want to support you.
If you are unable to talk to family members or your close friends, you can feel free to talk to us about your feelings here 
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hello! Hope you are feeling better now, feel free to update us or share with us how you are feeling or coping these days! Take care!
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Hey @hexstr , it sounds like things have been tough, especially with what happened at your job and your experiences in school. It’s understandable to feel anxious about meeting new people when you’ve been through difficult situations like that. Being bullied can really impact how you feel in social situations, and it makes sense that it’s made you cautious.
But you know what? The fact that you did get a job and stuck with it for a few months shows that you’re capable of stepping into new environments and trying things out, even if they don’t always go as planned. That’s a big deal, and it takes courage! It sounds like you’re resilient, even though it might not feel like it right now.
I wonder if you’ve had a time in your life when you did manage to meet new people or feel comfortable in a new setting? Maybe think about what you did then that made it successful or even just less stressful. It could be that there are strengths you’ve already used that could help you again in the future, like being kind or approachable, or maybe something as simple as being a good listener.
It’s also okay to take things one step at a time and give yourself space to process everything. Meeting new people doesn’t have to happen all at once, and you can go at a pace that feels right for you. You’ve already shown you can handle tough situations – you’ve got more strength in you than you might realise!
Hi @hexstr 
Seeing this post reminded me of my 18yo self with social anxiety of meeting new people and experiencing new things. I used to overthink even standing up and throwing away rubbish in class, or getting a haircut at a barber. I’m now 22, and I admit I still have a long way to progress, but I think I’m definitely more confident in myself. Here’s some nuggets of life lessons I learnt in our 4 years age gap that I hope helps you too 
- Buddy up. Things are always less daunting when there’s a familiar face. Find friends that want to experience something new together, and sign up! It helps by starting off with something of interest to motivate you to go.
- Nobody will remember what you say. This statement is now so comforting to me, knowing that saying something embarrassing during an icebreaker is not going the stop the world from spinning. People are way too preoccupied in the embarrassing things they themselves have done.
- YOLO. Very cliche, yet very true. You only live once, so please do everything you want to do, don’t ponder the what if’s. It’s better to regret doing something than to regret not doing it!
Hi @hexstr,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling anxious about meeting new people and adjusting to new environments given your past experiences. It’s okay to feel this way, and it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.
Would you be open to talking to a trusted friend or family member about what you’re going through? Sharing your feelings with someone you trust could help lighten the burden. If you feel comfortable, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor could also provide valuable support and guidance.
Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace and to prioritize your well-being.