Hello there. So firstly, i have been awkward with people since secondary school and i currently have only 1 good friend. Currently i am in NS and it’s still hard to talk to people. i honestly don’t blame them but you know, i have trouble doing eye contact with people, cant talk to people normally without feeling awkward and prob that makes people not interested in talking to me + ignoring me. I also have low confidence in myself due to me being very skinny. Honestly, i just want to live a normal live like other people who can hangout with their friends , able to communicate with people easily but yea ……
I honestly want to request help since sec school but i felt that i still can tahan during tht time, but now as im turning 20++, i really want to seek help but im unsure how. Just fyi, not even once i feel that i want to end my life but i just feel lonely thats all. Thanks for reading.
Hi donotfeedpigeons
I am very happy to learn how you have bravely come forward seeking a way to address the challenges you have had since secondary school. You writing to us is the first step, so well done! It takes courage to acknowledge that you’re struggling and want to make positive changes. Please take heart that many among us started off feeling awkward and unsure about speaking to others, and doubted ourselves initially. However with a steady approach of practice, trial and error and a optimistic mindset, gradual improvements were made. I am confident you, too, can achieve success and go beyond your own expectations! Here are some suggestions for you to consider on how you can seek support and work on improving your social skills and confidence:
Speak to a Professional
-Consider seeing a counsellor: They can help you identify the root causes of your social anxiety and provide strategies to overcome it. Counselling services are available through the army, so do explore this avenue further.
-Be open about your concerns: When speaking to a professional, be honest about your struggles with eye contact, feeling awkward in conversations, and low self-esteem. This will help them understand your situation better and provide tailored guidance.
Develop Your Social Skills
-Practice active listening: When conversing with others, focus on what they’re saying and ask follow-up questions. This takes the pressure off you and makes the interaction more natural.
-Start small: Begin by talking to one person at a time, perhaps a fellow NSmen you feel comfortable with. As you gain confidence, gradually expand your social circle.
-Join a club or hobby group: Engaging in activities you enjoy can help you meet like-minded people and make conversation easier. The shared interest provides a natural topic to discuss.
-Be patient with yourself: Improving social skills takes time and practice. Celebrate small victories, such as maintaining eye contact for a few seconds longer or initiating a conversation.
Boost Your Confidence
-Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your positive qualities, skills, and achievements. Refer to this list when you’re feeling insecure.
-Practice self-care: Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, such as exercising, pursuing hobbies, or learning new skills. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being can enhance your confidence.
-Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your appearance or abilities, counter those thoughts with more realistic and positive perspectives.
-Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge the steps you’re taking to improve your social skills and confidence. Recognize that you’re on a journey of growth and self-improvement.
Remember, you’re not alone in your struggles. Many people face similar challenges, and with the right support and strategies, you can overcome them. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional or trusted friend for guidance and support. You’ve got this! 
Hello! I am not a professional but I can understand that you are trying your best to come out of your comfort zone and be more sociable. I relate to you with regards to the part on having low self confidence because of my features as well. Just wanna share that you are not alone in this journey! I am also trying my best every day to improve my self confidence by remembering my own strengths and celebrating small successes in life. Take care!
Actually I think it’s normal to only have 1 or a few good friends. You don’t need to be a social butterfly to have a good life. Do you hangout with your current good friend?
I found it hard to make friends during NS too because everyone had very diverse backgrounds. You’ll get more opportunities to make friends as you transition from BMT to Unit etc. Do you intend to study after NS? That’s also another transition and transitions are easiest to make friends because everyone is “new” to the environment.
On the eye contact part, try looking at other people’s nose or mouth instead. It’ll be easier and it’ll also look like you’re facing them properly.
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Hello @donotfeedpigeons 
! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through, and I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you do. It takes courage to reach out, and it’s a big step towards feeling better.
Firstly, it is essential to recognise that many individuals feel anxious in social circumstances, particularly when they feel different or separated. You are not alone. Feeling uncomfortable during eye contact or lacking confidence due to physical appearance might make socializing difficult, but this does not indicate there is something wrong with you. These sentiments do not determine your worth as a person.
Perhaps, you can start off by taking small steps and not jumping into large social settings to build confidence. If making eye contact with people might be difficult, try not to look straight into their eyes.
Next, if being slim makes you feel less confident, you should think about strategies to feel stronger and healthier. This does not have to be about increasing weight, but rather about developing strength and self-esteem. Regular exercise, even if only in tiny stages at initially, can benefit both your physical and emotional health. However, if people sincerely wants to be friends with you, they wouldn’t care about how you look 
(your personality/character is more important)
I understand that loneliness can be tough, but reaching out like you did this time is a sign of reliance.
Keep going, and don’t be afraid to seek help from a counselor, mentor, or even a friend 